Love Makes You Stupid

Posted: August 16, 2020 in music
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It’s been so long since I’ve tended to this site. While the world around us has been descending into chaos, I’ve been writing songs. Here is one I wrote yesterday.

Love Makes You Stupid

(C. McCabe)

If I could see your face

If we could share the same space

It wouldn’t be long

If I could touch your hair

Or glimpse your underwear

It wouldn’t be long

If I could make you smile

for just a little while

It wouldn’t be long

If I could make you laugh

or watch you take a bath

It would be long

And it wouldn’t be wrong

Ooo wee, Dear,

It’s gonna be quick

(but not as quick as this song)

Ooo wee, Dear,

it’s gonna be as thrilling

as the end of King Kong

Ooo wee, Dear,

it’s gonna be as sticky

As a cinnamon bun

Ooo we, Dear,

it’s gonna be stupid…

If I could hear your voice,

would I still have any choice?

It wouldn’t be long

If I could touch your heart

or one of your more accessible parts

It wouldn’t be long

and it wouldn’t be wrong

Ooo wee, Dear,

It’s gonna be quick

(but not as quick as this song)

Ooo wee, Dear,

it’s gonna be thrilling

like the end of King Kong

Ooo wee, Dear,

we’re gonna get sticky

like a cinnamon bun

Ooo we, Dear,

it’s gonna be stupid…

Oliver with a fro

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Posted: October 31, 2014 in b movie, comedy, demon, entity, filmmaking, ghost, horror, life after death, models, music, paranormal, photography, podcasts, science, sex, spirit, talk, video
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Halloween is here again, and the ghoulish gang at Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show have risen from their graves to bring you a brand new episode of groovy b-movie badness featuring a streamlined 30 minute edit of the 1962 cult classic The Brain That Wouldn’t Die! Returning to a computer screen near you after a six month hiatus, Oliver wastes no time jumping back into the swing of things with his special brand of horror movie insight and ultra low brow humor. And never has the bar been lowered so low, as Oliver introduces his newest cast-mate, Offensio the Obscene, the world’s filthiest sock puppet/shock comedian, whose every joke ventures into territories so dark that even a jaded former serial killer like our titular host is appalled! Horse Head Ed injects some welcome patriotism into the show with a special appeal to get out the vote, while encouraging fellow Floridians to vote yes this November 4th on Proposition Two, which amends the Sunshine State’s constitution to allow for the use of medicinal marijuana. House band Murdered by ROBOTS are featured with their music videos “Cum Hither” and “Down to the Slaughter”, starring Screaming Mime Theater favorites Mandy Taylor and Dayana Valentino (and the mysterious Half-Man, Half Chicken monstrosity known as “Peckerhead”). And, making special cameo appearances are show friend and horror host extraordinaire Uncle Edward, who opens the show via a specially recorded video message from his basement lair at the Dark Hours Theatre, and Sarasota’s number one burlesque artist, the incredible Cherry Von Topp! Check out the Halloween episode on our YouTube channel at:

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Also returning in honor of Halloween is the Murdered by ROBOTS podcast, with a brand new episode titled “Spitting in the Wishing Well”. This episode features some of the group’s most recent recordings, including the raunchy garage band inspired track “Crash Your Car”, a new track titled “Heartbeat” co-written by band-mate Sara G (who shares vocals), and an experimental seven minute plus noise experiment called “Lloyd Mongo and the Syndrome of the Down”. Oliver, Horse Head Ed, and Albert Fish lend their voices to a track titled Oliver’s Song, and the audio version of Horse Head Ed’s voting PSA is also included. Rounding out the episode are a trio of acoustic tracks named “Murgatroyd Man”, “Seven Ways to Sunday”, and “Church Street Whore”. We invite all fans of the band or Oliver’s show to check out this latest episode on ITunes and on Spreaker at:

http://www.spreaker.com:80/episode/5149155

And finally, Halloween would not have been complete without our third annual photo shoot with the amazing Melissa Dawson, recently named “Hot Chick of the Week” by the Howard Stern Show’s head of security, resident curmudgeon, and acknowledged authority on sexy women Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund! This year, Melissa really wowed us with an ultra creepy possessed doll costume that still managed to give us rigor mortis in the shorts, as these pictures can attest to…

 

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Check out more from our third annual Halloween photo shoot with the sultry Melissa Dawson by watching this special slideshow commemorating that glorious occasion:

And follow Melissa on Twitter at:
@MelissaDawsonDD

We hope all of you enjoy this most wonderful time of the year

POLYAMORY AND HOT THREESOME ACTION!

Posted: October 17, 2014 in comedy, music, podcasts, sex, talk
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photo (2)   By all accounts, audio podcasting is the bottom-most rung of the broadcasting ladder, a virtual megaphone for the most disenfranchised of the lunatic fringe; those of us who are too ugly to appear on YouTube video diaries and lacking the discipline and written prowess of our distant relatives, the bloggers. Yet, all across the globe, we oddballs are huddled in our mother’s basements spilling our guts out into a microphone, as we channel our inner Howard Sterns, spreading conspiracy theories and preaching from our digital soapbox, in pursuit of that promised but ever elusive 15 minutes of fame. At sporadic intervals throughout the year, we cast out our half-baked message in a bottle in hopes that someone, ANYONE, will humor us by listening to the voices in our head! Predictably, for the most part, our need for validation goes unfulfilled. But, every now and then, if we are really lucky, against all odds, our seemingly futile attempts at relevance are acknowledged and our efforts are actually recognized!

This past Tuesday, Two Guys Watching Porn released our 68th episode titled “Hot Threesome Action!”, co-starring our new friend and show correspondent Nancy, who joined my co-host Rob and I on a roller coaster rant-fest covering celebrity sex scandals, polyamory, security breaches at the White House and the looming fear of Ebola outbreaks. To our surprise , this episode caught the attention of an online newspaper named The Lucius Scribbens Daily, dedicated to the discussion of “all matters regarding polyamory, open relationships, swinging and BDSM”, which included a link to our current show in the “Adult” section of their 10/14/14 edition. We were thrilled to be included and welcome all new listeners who may have been “turned on” to and by our show thanks to this much appreciated yet unsolicited publicity. And, since one good turn deserves another, we’d like to encourage all readers of our own blog and all listeners to Two Guys Watching Porn to check out The Lucius Scribbens Daily for themselves!

-Chris McCabe

Read their latest edition here:
http://paper.li/LScribbens/1330311643

And, of course, listen to TGWP Episode 68 “Hot Threesome Action!” on ITunes and on Spreaker Web Radio here:
http://www.spreaker.com:80/episode/5078934

BACK FROM THE DEAD

Posted: September 28, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, photography, podcasts, science, sex, talk, video
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photoIt’s been a busy year for us here at Murdered by ROBOTS and, unfortunately, our website has suffered because of it, resigned to a cold cruel fate usually reserved for red-headed step children, neglected and unloved and buried neck deep in a pool of filth. While we were off enjoying misadventures, this page was all but forgotten, collecting digital dust. Many of you, our loyal followers, have held your breath awaiting news of our latest shenanigans and many of you, alas, have died waiting. And while we mourn the loss of those most hardcore fans, we can only chalk things up to Darwin’s principle of natural selection and move forward. Since our last update, Murdered by ROBOTS and our fellow denizens of the Screaming Mime Theater have been hard at work spreading our gospel of God awful and creating (dis)content to entertain the ever drooling masses.

Our music has continued to feature regularly on our favorite terrestrial radio program, 96.5 WSLR’s infamous Lumpytunes!, hosted by the Head Lump, Rob Demperio. We’ve recorded a slew of new songs including our first commercial single, “Respect Existence”, now available for sale on iTunes and Amazon, and appeared on Hal McGee’s Big Florida Noise Compilation this past June. We will also be featured on the soon to be released sound project from Polish based Splitterkor Rekords Dziwko (SKRD) titled “What is Noise For You?”, along with fellow underground acts including Ninja McTits and SATANOID! In further international news, MbR was recently interviewed for Canadian Radio by indie outlaw and Soundcloud legend Kyle Nickum, host of Hipster’s Paradise on Phantom 103.3 out of Bathurst, New Brunswick, the home of eclectic music for the Great White North! And when we weren’t spreading like cancer across international borders, we were busy shooting new music videos with the likes of the always alluring Mandy Taylor, and conquering the local Alternative charts on ReverbNation where, for eight glorious days this past month, we held the number one spot in Sarasota on a list containing bUG eYED mONSTERS, and friend and former collaborator Nacho Steppinstone.

On our podcasting front, Two Guys Watching Porn has continued to redefine the meaning of TMI as hosts Rob and Chris lower the parameters of decent social intercourse to near Marinas Trench depths with their dull witted,  ill informed and often highly inflammatory discussions involving everything from Kate Upton’s boobs and robot sex toys, to vomiting parasites and End Time prophesy! The boys even caught the eye (and ear) of the fine folks at TeamSkeet.com, who were kind enough to send us a box of free swag containing stickers, t-shirts and DVDs. Since our last update a full 17(!!) episodes have sullied the Internet’s virtual airwaves, bringing our grand total of listens for our combined podcasts to 8,755 (including 4,578 downloads). A full episode guide of the last 17 shows is coming soon!

When last we posted, our homegrown horror host web series, Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show, had just premiered on YouTube, as well as other video hosting outlets like Daily Motion, Vimeo, and (on a goof) Porn Hub. Since that debut, two more episodes featuring Oliver, his faithful sidekick Horse Head Ed, show mascot Shadow Stevens, and announcer Albert Fish have been released. Many of Screaming Mime Theater’s favorite video vixens have also appeared, including Dayana Valentino, Melissa Dawson, and Kara 0300. The show has featured shout-outs to one of our favorite horror hosts, Dark Hours Theatre’s very own Uncle Edward, who has kindly returned the favor on two of his programs, Uncle Edward’s Trailer-Rama and the latest episode of The It Came From the Basement Show. We thank Edward for all of his encouragement and unwavering support! As of this writing, OTBBMMSFFS has received a whopping 3,452 views (though it begs mentioning that 2,308 of those views were from confused and very frustrated porn surfers).

Finally, our reach has oozed into the world of social media, with Facebook pages for all of our major projects available for fans looking to interact with us and keep up to date with our activities. Please click each of the following links and, if you are entertained by what you see, don’t hesitate to hit the “like” button to receive all of our latest news!

Murdered by ROBOTS official band page: https://m.facebook.com/givejesusbacktothemartians

Two Guys Watching Porn:
https://www.facebook.com/twoguyswatchingporn

Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show:
https://www.facebook.com/oliverandhorseheaded

Oliver’s Dumpster Days and the Girl With the K-Shaped Cornhole

Posted: February 19, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, photography, podcasts, talk, Uncategorized, video
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It’s been a big week for us at Murdered by ROBOTS. Since it’s premiere just over a week ago, our web series Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show has raked up a respectable 515 views from postings on multiple sites, with the lion’s share of hits coming, hysterically, from our posting on the free adult tube service Porn Hub (so the actual length of each individual view is, admittedly, likely to be fairly low – one can only anticipate the colorful comments that may one day be left by frustrated porn surfers desperate to complete a mission who find our program to be, put politely, less than “mission”-worthy!).  And our show has been given the official thumbs up by one of our very favorite horror-hosts, It Came from the Basement’s  mysterious Uncle Edward, the Fez wearing professor phantasm behind Dark Hours Theatre’s  epic sci-fi serial Adventures of Galactic Command  and Uncle Edward’s Trailer-Rama, both available on YouTube.

uncle edwardUncle Edward

   In other news, Murdered by ROBOTS posted a brand new music video this week for our song “Dumpster Baby“, subtitled “The Birth of Oliver“, starring Horse Head Ed and the titular Oliver in semi-autobiographical roles as adopted-father and son. Also heavily featured are Screaming Mime Theater favorites Rima Jean and Tiffani Cruz, as well as the ever elusive Peckerhead  (in a scene stealing performance!). Head Lump Rob Demperio called it “Difficult. I love it.”
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Rima Jean and Tiffani Cruz

   Rounding out this week’s broadcasting is Two Guys Watching Porn’s 50th (!) episode, titled The Girl with the K-Shaped Cornhole. Picking up where their last episode ended, hosts Rob and Chris continue to shamelessly plug their new internet TV show and discuss the scandalous fate of McGruff the Crime Dog. Listen to this week’s episode here:
Catch Uncle Edward’s latest videos on YouTube at:
Listen to 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! online at www.wslr.org
And check out Rima Jean and Tiffani Cruz on Model Mayhem at:

Lunchmeat Love and Porno Horror Stories

Posted: February 12, 2014 in comedy, horror, music, podcasts, sex, talk, Uncategorized, video
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In the latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, Chris and Rob announce the premiere of their network’s new Internet TV show and discuss a recent incident in a Florida movie theater in which a retired police officer shot and killed a fellow moviegoer for texting during the coming attractions. This leads Chris to ponder other horrible ways to meet your maker and to advocate paving the Everglades. Trash TV talk and porno-horror stories round these latest discussions.  Also featured in this episode’s opener is Head Lump Rob Demperio’s shout-out to house band Murdered by ROBOTS, whose song Making Love to My Lunchmeat was featured on the 02/11/14 broadcast of 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes!

Listen to Episode 49: Lunchmeat Love and Porno Horror Stories here:

 

 

SCREAMING MIME THEATER PRESENTS: OLIVER’S TWISTED BARGAIN BASEMENT MIDNIGHT MOVIE STONER FRIENDLY FREAK SHOW

Posted: February 11, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, photography, sex, Uncategorized, video
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OLIVER'S TWISTED BARGAIN BASEMENT MIDNIGHT MOVIE STONER FRIENDLY FREAK SHOW

   Hot on the heels of Rob’s return, Screaming Mime Theater is proud to unleash it’s latest, most jaded creation… A congo-line of deprivation one whole week in the making… Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show!  With a title so long even the late Linda Lovelace would call it “a mouthful”, and a budget so small starving children in Africa should start sending us money, this homage to cheesy b-movie creature feature horror shows hopes to transport it’s viewers back to those glorious pre-cable days before infomercials and 24 hour broadcasting, when the last stop on the cathode ray highway was the late, late movie! Usually they were locally taped public access type productions, featuring amateur actors dressed in shoddy Frankenstein’s monster costumes in dollar store furnished laboratories, or Dracula clones reciting corny one-liners from inside their cardboard coffins as dry ice fog obscures styr0foam tombstones. They’d perform loosely scripted comic bits between commercial breaks for notoriously awful movies, with titles like The Crawling Eye and The Screaming Skull; flicks that needed a little extra nudge to trick viewers into watching them for the umpteenth time. But the movies themselves were never really the point. It was the camaraderie we in the audience felt with these misplaced thespians, who did their very best week after week to make something entertaining out of the unwatchable. The fun came not from the feature presentation, but from these often unsung heroes of the UHF void who cleverly polished cinematic turds and somehow convinced a loyal few to come back for seconds and thirds.
   Every nightmare needs a top-rate ghoul, and who better to host our fledgling creep show than the Screaming Mime Theater’s resident serial killer, Oliver? Together with his cast of cohorts including Two Guys Watching Porn’s dog reporter Shadow Stevens, show announcer Albert Fish (who sounds remarkably like TGWP’s producer Barry Schwartzenhymen), and Oliver’s chemically dependent sidekick, Horse Head Ed, the show promises to, at the very least, keep you scratching your head as this train wreck occurs before your very eyes! It’s a show that features everything future fucktards could hope for: rubber masks, bad CGI, Oedipal complexes, drug references, and action figure nudity! And only the best of the worst horror, sci-fi, and exploitation available… (in the Public Domain)…
   Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Showis the developmentally challenged brainchild of that demented duo behind Two Guys Watching Porn. Episode One pays tribute to the Queen of all Pinups, Bettie Page, and features footage from her final feature film performance in the 1955 Irving Klaw directed burlesque documentary Teaserama.
TEASERAMACheck out the show on YouTube at: http://youtu.be/GkmNkfKUiPM
or on Dailymotion at: http://dai.ly/x1brqbx

THE RESURRECTION OF ROB

Posted: February 7, 2014 in comedy, horror, models, music, photography, podcasts, sex, talk, Uncategorized
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There are some questions for which answers may never truly be known, eternal mysteries that have haunted man since his first ancestors gazed upon the heavens and wondered  “are we alone in the Universe?”,  “is there life after death?” , “what, if anything, existed before the Big Bang?” and “how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”.  Well, as of last Saturday, at least one such puzzle has  been solved, the burning question on all of our  minds: “What the fuck happened to Rob?”…

It is with great excitement and considerable relief that I announce that Rob, like the Jedi and Jesus before him, has returned. Not, however, a brief two days later like the aforementioned Lord and Savior but, instead,  following a two and a half month mysterious limbo. But what do you expect? One of them is the son of God and the other’s, well, Rob. And whereas Jesus returned with the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven, Rob comes back with nothing more than horror stories of hoarding and of elderly relatives half eaten by cats!

All this and more is the subject of the long awaited brand new episode of Two Guys Watching Porn titled “Popeye and the Resurrection“.  A special shout out is given to a trio of confirmed listeners and life advice is lovingly dispensed by hosts Rob and Chris, who waste little time returning to their old shenanigans. Listen to this episode here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/popeye-and-the-resurrection

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   In other news, Murdered by ROBOTS was once again honored to have their track “Dumpster Baby” featured on the latest (02/04/14) broadcast of 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! , on a playlist that featured such icons of the counterculture as William S. Burroughs and Cheech and Chong! Our eternal thanks goes out to the Head Lump Rob Demperio for including us in another one of his weekly mosh ups of madness, and for mentioning us on air, albeit unintentionally, during his 01/21/14 broadcast when he momentarily confused our group with the similarly named musical comedy troupe and experimental noise act, Captured! By Robots, whose track he’d just played. Oh, and while we’re shamelessly honking our own horn, Murdered by ROBOTS was also included in the special (12/03/13) John and Yoko themed edition of Lumpytunes! which featured an extended set of our songs made up of “If I Only Had Some Shame“, “Porcupine Vagina/Nevermind Love” and our signature tune “Snotrocket“. Intentionally or otherwise, we’re always thrilled to hear our name spoken over the airwaves!
For those of you in the Sarasota/Bradenton, Florida area, check out Lumpytunes! every Tuesday night/Wednesday morning from 11:00pm-01:00am on 96.5 WSLR or listen online at www.WSLR.org . And like it on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lumpytunes .
Check out Captured! By Robots at www.capturedbyrobots.com .
and view Tiffani aka MISSTIFF (featured in the above photo) on her Model Mayhem page,
MM URL: http://www.modelmayhem.com/MissTiffaniRaeCruz

MANIACS, MAYHEM AND MILFS

Posted: January 31, 2014 in b movie, comedy, horror, models, music, photography, sex, Uncategorized
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It’s no secret that Melissa Dawson is one of our all time favorite models here at the Screaming Mime Theater, and the reasons why are so painfully clear that even Helen Keller would have no problem seeing them. With legs that stretch all the way up to heaven, a booty so tight it probably poops diamonds, a pair of boobs that leave dudes salivating like Pavlov’s poodles and a face that could grace the pages of any high end fashion magazine, this tattooed temptress is the quintessential heterosexual teenage boy’s fantasy, a walking wet dream come true, and an amazingly cool human being to boot.

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   This past October, we were lucky enough to work with Melissa once again, filming her for the Murdered by ROBOTS video “Zombie Girl” and photographing her for our second (and now, hopefully, annual) Halloween Shoot ! While the music video was featured prominently in our January 28th post, we’d feel remiss if we failed to show you some of the highlights of that incredible photo session as well. So, without further tease, here is the beautiful Melissa Dawson vamping it up and doing her best to provoke all us lucky creatures of the night….
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These shots and many more can be found on Screaming Mime Theater’s Model Mayhem portfolio at:  http://www.modelmayhem.com/2118492
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And remember to catch up with Melissa’s sexy (and, occasionally, naked) adventures on Twitter by following her @MelissaDawsonDD

MODEL MAYHEM

Posted: January 29, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, photography, podcasts, sex, Uncategorized, video
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Screaming Mime Theater is an underground sleeper cell of wannabe artists, hack musicians, zero-budget filmmakers and often unemployed writers struggling to survive in the seedy underbelly of Sarasota, Florida. Like Troma Studios and John Water’s Dreamlanders, our objective is to create original and enjoyable content that succeeds even where our modest talents fail, to create a Universe populated by oddball characters, and to spread our half-baked gospel to anyone fed up enough with mainstream mediocrity to receive our unholy message. And one of the longest running legs of this modest little empire is our photography division, headed by me, your humble narrator.

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   My name is Chris, and not only am I a founding member of the mock-rock band Murdered by ROBOTS as well as cohost of the now seemingly defunct podcast Two Guys Watching Porn,  but I’m also a self-taught photographer who aspires to create images that are both provocative and playfully edgy. I strive to constantly evolve as an artist (although using the word “artist” makes me uncomfortable), feeling free to experiment and unafraid of failing. While I don’t mind shooting traditional themes, I’m happiest working with models who share my somewhat offbeat sense of humor and don’t mind being silly or weird.
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   I’m a life-long admirer of pin-up style art. I grew up obsessed with images of Bettie Page and other underground models of her era, studying the work of Irving Klaw and Bunny Yeager, and flipping through pages of vintage men’s magazines with names like “TAB“, “SHOW“, and “EYE“, suggestive publications once deemed too lurid to be sold over the counter that now seem curiously innocent by modern standards.  In many ways, it’s this inherently taboo aspect that makes these guilty pleasures so fascinating to me. And it’s that delicate dance between wholesomeness and, for lack of a better term, comic book style sleaze that I find most invigorating, imagining that beneath every housewife’s proper June Cleaver exterior is a garter-belt wearing, cat-o-nine-tails toting vixen ready to pounce.
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I draw heavy inspiration from B-movie and grindhouse imagery, like scenes from an all night marathon of Russ Meyer films and drive-in double features. I try to create pictures that convey universal schoolboy day dreams and pay homage to the low brow pop stylings of  artists like Robt Williams and Art Crumb, incredible talents who often elevated their medium yet still felt free to dip their toes in the gutter,  combining elements of retro-style cheesecake with tongue-in-cheek, in-your-face vulgarity and doing so with style.
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I’ve been extremely fortunate to work with many talented and imaginative models in the Sarasota area, some with professional credentials and others who were complete newcomers, and I’m eager to work with anyone out there who is interested in creating something different. Please feel free to peruse my portfolio, and don’t be afraid to contact me for any of your photographic needs at:
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