Archive for January, 2014

MANIACS, MAYHEM AND MILFS

Posted: January 31, 2014 in b movie, comedy, horror, models, music, photography, sex, Uncategorized
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It’s no secret that Melissa Dawson is one of our all time favorite models here at the Screaming Mime Theater, and the reasons why are so painfully clear that even Helen Keller would have no problem seeing them. With legs that stretch all the way up to heaven, a booty so tight it probably poops diamonds, a pair of boobs that leave dudes salivating like Pavlov’s poodles and a face that could grace the pages of any high end fashion magazine, this tattooed temptress is the quintessential heterosexual teenage boy’s fantasy, a walking wet dream come true, and an amazingly cool human being to boot.

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   This past October, we were lucky enough to work with Melissa once again, filming her for the Murdered by ROBOTS video “Zombie Girl” and photographing her for our second (and now, hopefully, annual) Halloween Shoot ! While the music video was featured prominently in our January 28th post, we’d feel remiss if we failed to show you some of the highlights of that incredible photo session as well. So, without further tease, here is the beautiful Melissa Dawson vamping it up and doing her best to provoke all us lucky creatures of the night….
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These shots and many more can be found on Screaming Mime Theater’s Model Mayhem portfolio at:  http://www.modelmayhem.com/2118492
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And remember to catch up with Melissa’s sexy (and, occasionally, naked) adventures on Twitter by following her @MelissaDawsonDD

MODEL MAYHEM

Posted: January 29, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, photography, podcasts, sex, Uncategorized, video
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Screaming Mime Theater is an underground sleeper cell of wannabe artists, hack musicians, zero-budget filmmakers and often unemployed writers struggling to survive in the seedy underbelly of Sarasota, Florida. Like Troma Studios and John Water’s Dreamlanders, our objective is to create original and enjoyable content that succeeds even where our modest talents fail, to create a Universe populated by oddball characters, and to spread our half-baked gospel to anyone fed up enough with mainstream mediocrity to receive our unholy message. And one of the longest running legs of this modest little empire is our photography division, headed by me, your humble narrator.

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   My name is Chris, and not only am I a founding member of the mock-rock band Murdered by ROBOTS as well as cohost of the now seemingly defunct podcast Two Guys Watching Porn,  but I’m also a self-taught photographer who aspires to create images that are both provocative and playfully edgy. I strive to constantly evolve as an artist (although using the word “artist” makes me uncomfortable), feeling free to experiment and unafraid of failing. While I don’t mind shooting traditional themes, I’m happiest working with models who share my somewhat offbeat sense of humor and don’t mind being silly or weird.
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   I’m a life-long admirer of pin-up style art. I grew up obsessed with images of Bettie Page and other underground models of her era, studying the work of Irving Klaw and Bunny Yeager, and flipping through pages of vintage men’s magazines with names like “TAB“, “SHOW“, and “EYE“, suggestive publications once deemed too lurid to be sold over the counter that now seem curiously innocent by modern standards.  In many ways, it’s this inherently taboo aspect that makes these guilty pleasures so fascinating to me. And it’s that delicate dance between wholesomeness and, for lack of a better term, comic book style sleaze that I find most invigorating, imagining that beneath every housewife’s proper June Cleaver exterior is a garter-belt wearing, cat-o-nine-tails toting vixen ready to pounce.
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I draw heavy inspiration from B-movie and grindhouse imagery, like scenes from an all night marathon of Russ Meyer films and drive-in double features. I try to create pictures that convey universal schoolboy day dreams and pay homage to the low brow pop stylings of  artists like Robt Williams and Art Crumb, incredible talents who often elevated their medium yet still felt free to dip their toes in the gutter,  combining elements of retro-style cheesecake with tongue-in-cheek, in-your-face vulgarity and doing so with style.
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I’ve been extremely fortunate to work with many talented and imaginative models in the Sarasota area, some with professional credentials and others who were complete newcomers, and I’m eager to work with anyone out there who is interested in creating something different. Please feel free to peruse my portfolio, and don’t be afraid to contact me for any of your photographic needs at:

ZOMBIE GIRL

Posted: January 28, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, Uncategorized
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Ever since George Romero’s classic “Night of the Living Dead” (1968) set the gold standard for midnight movies, zombies have been slowly but relentlessly clawing their way out of their graves and up the ranks of fright flick royalty, leaving werewolves, aliens and mutants in their wake while seriously challenging psycho killers and vampires for that coveted spot atop of the blood spattered Horror Movie pyramid! Zombies are EVERYWHERE these days, from highly rated TV shows like “The Walking Dead” on AMC, to Shakespearian  inspired romantic comedies like “Warm Bodies” (2013), while shamelessly inserting their rotting flesh into virtually ever horror movie released on Netflix in the past two years. They’ve pitched cellphone plans for Sprint, inspired disaster drills by FEMA, insinuated themselves into Jane Austen novels and even joined their Vampire rivals in battling  “Honest Abe” Lincoln! Love them or hate them, Zombies are BIG. Some might say even TOO big.

While it may seem that society’s collective hunger for the all things living dead has finally reached critical mass, we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are never too proud to squeeze that last bit of life out of anything worthy of exploitation, so it is with zero remorse that we unleash upon the world one of our latest music videos, “Zombie Girl“, shot last October at the world famous Junkyard Rehearsal Studio and starring the drop-dead gorgeous Melissa Dawson. Consider this horse thoroughly flogged!

Follow Ms. Dawson’s adventures on Twitter @MelissaDawsonDD
And “like” The Junkyard Rehearsal Studio on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/JunkyardRehearsalStudio

WHAT YOU’VE BEEN MISSING

Posted: January 26, 2014 in b movie, comedy, filmmaking, horror, models, music, photography, podcasts, science, sex, talk, Uncategorized
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   In the months since my last steady post, a full ten episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn have come and gone, leaving in their wake a foulness not unlike an unwelcome breakage of wind. Since I’ve shamefully neglected to keep this site updated, I hope to rectify that mistake now by chronicling all of the adventures some of you may have missed, picking up right where I left off back in September. So please, accept this episode guide as an olive branch, and feel free to plunder our archives for all of TGWP’s podcasting prurience…
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Episode 38: Nut Ripped Off by a Monkey
(first published 09/16/13)
   Rob recuperates from his man-period and regales cohost Chris with tales of testicle stealing primates and crazy Chinese zoos. Dog Lions! Puppy Tigers!! Panda Poodles!?! Oh My!!! As you may imagine, things rapidly spiral downward from there, culminating in the battle cry “F U, FXX!”
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Episode 39: Sin, Smut, and Godless Fornication!
(first published 09/23/13)
   If Steven Spielberg’s 1977 classic Close Encounters of the Third Kind taught us anything, it’s that A: Richard Dreyfus is a terrible father looking for almost any excuse to abandon his family, and that B: WE ARE NOT ALONE! In this thrilling Sci-Fi themed episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, alien visitors have intercepted a strange signal emanating from a tiny blue planet orbiting an average yellow star, and are shocked by the content of this curious transmission. Listen as Chris and Rob unwittingly become Earth’s first ambassadors to this advanced extraterrestrial race!
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Episode 4o: Name That Poon
(first published 09/30/2013)
   In celebration of our 40th episode and our network’s 4000th listen, Screaming Mime Theater and it’s musical division, Murdered by ROBOTS, serve up a star studded all musical extravaganza titled Name That Poon (aka Two Guys Watching Porn, the Musical), featuring hosts Rob and Chris, show producer Barry Schwartzenhymen, Foreign Correspondent and Dog-Reporter Shadow Stevens,  frequent guest contributor Kristina Raisinbran, and fellow Spreaker talent and show supporter Amanda Nicole! So fill your shorts with pudding, huff a little Glade Air-freshener, relax and enjoy this nostalgic musical retrospective of some of Two Guys Watching Porn’s more whimsical moments, as we say thank you all for joining us on this adventure!
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Episode 41: Taboos on the Loose
(first published 10/07/13)
     This episode finds Chris and Rob scratching their heads, trying to make sense of Obamacare and the current Government shutdown.  Unable to grasp these subjects, they divert their scattered focus towards more entertaining topics, including television, face eating drugs, legalized pot and incest. Featuring the song “Praise, Praise, Praise” by Kamikaze Krishna.
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Episode 42: A Womb with a View
(first published 10/14/13)
   Drug horror stories are the hot topic of the day, in this very special (if inappropriately named) episode of Two Guys Watching Porn which explores the ravages of that mysterious new drug from Russia named Krokodil, a nasty little concoction known to eat the flesh of it’s users. Also up for lampooning is the late Michael Jackson, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and child abuse! A splendid time is guaranteed for all!
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Episode 43: Diddle Me Dudley
(first published 10/22/13)
    The show hits the highway as Rob and Chris drive aimlessly looking for inspiration, waxing nostalgically about shitty 1980’s sitcoms and their shared love of taquitos, as well as tackling such gripping social taboos as pederasty, public indecency, bestiality, and the shady sport of competitive gang-bangs. In the end, Rob concludes that we are, indeed, “a sick, sick species”!
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Episode 44: Evil White Men and their Problems
(first published 10/31/13)
   Twisted Love Cults and illegal immigration draw ire from the show’s hosts in this controversial episode of  Two Guys Watching Porn, while the plight of our nation’s indigenous peoples sparks some contentious debate amongst Rob and Chris. While Rob expresses nothing but respect for reservations and the importance of preserving Native American culture, Chris seems to suggest that, perhaps, it’s time for them to throw in the towel and accept defeat. Rubber tomahawks fly and things get decidedly ugly. Closing the show is a song by Screaming Mime Theater’s own Murdered by ROBOTS  titled “Godzilla“, in honor of Halloween.
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Episode 45: Backpage Hookers
(first published 11/07/13)
   After last episode’s unpleasantness, Rob and Chris return to form, revealing their obsession with lurid sex ads found on questionable websites including Craigslist and Backpage. They also discuss their recent activities, including a special Halloween themed photo-shoot with actress/model/web-cam performer extraordinaire Melissa Dawson (on Twitter as @Melissa DawsonDD) who graciously agreed to star in the latest Murdered by ROBOTS music video titled “Zombie Girl“.
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Episode 46: Killer Typhoons and Porcupine Vaginas
(first published 11/12/13)
    A new California law requiring condom use in all adult videos produced within “The Golden State” is ridiculed by porn advocates Rob and Chris, as well as the proposed new measure that would further require sex performers to wear safety goggles during their scenes. Later in the show, mention of the recent Super Typhoon Haiyan that devastated the Philippines steers the conversation towards “Sharknado” and other SiFi Channel made-for-cable turdfests. Featuring “Porcupine Vagina“, a new Murdered by ROBOTS track recently broadcast on 96.5 WSLR’s “Lumpytunes!”, and a brand new remix of the “Two Guys Watching Porn” theme song.
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and finally…
Episode 47: Lies, More Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
(first published 11/18/13)
In this, the final episode of 2013, Chris and Rob express their growing pessimism for the future, as the dumbing down of America and a widespread distrust in our leaders casts a long shadow of doubt over the fate of the human race. This was the last episode to be recorded before Rob’s inexplicable disappearance.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?

Posted: January 26, 2014 in comedy, models, music, photography, podcasts, talk, Uncategorized
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   For my first post of 2014, (my first post, ominously enough, since September 11th), I’d like to implore my readers to direct their attention to the picture above…
   This is Rob. Some of you might recognize him from his work as a model (as seen on Model Mayhem). Other’s might know him from his role as a member of the underground rock band Murdered by ROBOTS, for which he has provided his unique brand of lunatic ranting on such profanity laced tracks as “Ex-Wife” and “None the Wise Reprise (Rebel Without Applause Remix)“, and for having inspired and co-written the song “Dumpster Baby” (recently aired on 96.5 WSLR’s “Lumpytunes!”). But most of you, undoubtedly, will remember him first and foremost as one half of the brain damaged duo that host Screaming Mime Theater’s premiere and longest running podcast, Two Guys Watching Porn. Since it’s inception nearly two years ago, TGWP has proudly lowered the bar for all homegrown media, due in no small measure to Rob’s unwavering lack of on air professionalism, fascinatingly off-center logic and fearless discard of social grace. In a medium often populated by massive egos, obsessive work ethics and intellectual snobbery, Rob is the refreshing exception, a 21st Century caveman, direct in his speech, unapologetically vulgar in his delivery, and totally unpretentious in even his most misguided convictions. He is also hilarious, sometimes even intentionally, and the greatest collaborator this fellow cohost has known.
   I last spoke with Rob the week before Thanksgiving. Since then, he has mysteriously vanished. Dropped off the face of the Earth! Vanished as abruptly as one of Liam Neeson’s immediate family members in a Taken movie. My first fear was robot abduction, but no evidence supporting that admittedly far fletched theory has yet to surface. However, all attempts at reaching him have come up empty, which leads me only to speculate that he’s either been the subject of foul play, imprisoned, or that he’s simply holed up somewhere with a copy of “Where’s Waldo?”, too absorbed in the task at hand to notice the passage of time. I certainly hope for the latter.  After all, every Butthead needs a Beavis!
   It’s on this somber note that I’ll end this post, with hopes that the world has not yet heard the last from Two Guys Watching Porn.