Archive for the ‘music’ Category

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   In the months since my last steady post, a full ten episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn have come and gone, leaving in their wake a foulness not unlike an unwelcome breakage of wind. Since I’ve shamefully neglected to keep this site updated, I hope to rectify that mistake now by chronicling all of the adventures some of you may have missed, picking up right where I left off back in September. So please, accept this episode guide as an olive branch, and feel free to plunder our archives for all of TGWP’s podcasting prurience…
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Episode 38: Nut Ripped Off by a Monkey
(first published 09/16/13)
   Rob recuperates from his man-period and regales cohost Chris with tales of testicle stealing primates and crazy Chinese zoos. Dog Lions! Puppy Tigers!! Panda Poodles!?! Oh My!!! As you may imagine, things rapidly spiral downward from there, culminating in the battle cry “F U, FXX!”
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Episode 39: Sin, Smut, and Godless Fornication!
(first published 09/23/13)
   If Steven Spielberg’s 1977 classic Close Encounters of the Third Kind taught us anything, it’s that A: Richard Dreyfus is a terrible father looking for almost any excuse to abandon his family, and that B: WE ARE NOT ALONE! In this thrilling Sci-Fi themed episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, alien visitors have intercepted a strange signal emanating from a tiny blue planet orbiting an average yellow star, and are shocked by the content of this curious transmission. Listen as Chris and Rob unwittingly become Earth’s first ambassadors to this advanced extraterrestrial race!
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Episode 4o: Name That Poon
(first published 09/30/2013)
   In celebration of our 40th episode and our network’s 4000th listen, Screaming Mime Theater and it’s musical division, Murdered by ROBOTS, serve up a star studded all musical extravaganza titled Name That Poon (aka Two Guys Watching Porn, the Musical), featuring hosts Rob and Chris, show producer Barry Schwartzenhymen, Foreign Correspondent and Dog-Reporter Shadow Stevens,  frequent guest contributor Kristina Raisinbran, and fellow Spreaker talent and show supporter Amanda Nicole! So fill your shorts with pudding, huff a little Glade Air-freshener, relax and enjoy this nostalgic musical retrospective of some of Two Guys Watching Porn’s more whimsical moments, as we say thank you all for joining us on this adventure!
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Episode 41: Taboos on the Loose
(first published 10/07/13)
     This episode finds Chris and Rob scratching their heads, trying to make sense of Obamacare and the current Government shutdown.  Unable to grasp these subjects, they divert their scattered focus towards more entertaining topics, including television, face eating drugs, legalized pot and incest. Featuring the song “Praise, Praise, Praise” by Kamikaze Krishna.
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Episode 42: A Womb with a View
(first published 10/14/13)
   Drug horror stories are the hot topic of the day, in this very special (if inappropriately named) episode of Two Guys Watching Porn which explores the ravages of that mysterious new drug from Russia named Krokodil, a nasty little concoction known to eat the flesh of it’s users. Also up for lampooning is the late Michael Jackson, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and child abuse! A splendid time is guaranteed for all!
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Episode 43: Diddle Me Dudley
(first published 10/22/13)
    The show hits the highway as Rob and Chris drive aimlessly looking for inspiration, waxing nostalgically about shitty 1980’s sitcoms and their shared love of taquitos, as well as tackling such gripping social taboos as pederasty, public indecency, bestiality, and the shady sport of competitive gang-bangs. In the end, Rob concludes that we are, indeed, “a sick, sick species”!
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Episode 44: Evil White Men and their Problems
(first published 10/31/13)
   Twisted Love Cults and illegal immigration draw ire from the show’s hosts in this controversial episode of  Two Guys Watching Porn, while the plight of our nation’s indigenous peoples sparks some contentious debate amongst Rob and Chris. While Rob expresses nothing but respect for reservations and the importance of preserving Native American culture, Chris seems to suggest that, perhaps, it’s time for them to throw in the towel and accept defeat. Rubber tomahawks fly and things get decidedly ugly. Closing the show is a song by Screaming Mime Theater’s own Murdered by ROBOTS  titled “Godzilla“, in honor of Halloween.
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Episode 45: Backpage Hookers
(first published 11/07/13)
   After last episode’s unpleasantness, Rob and Chris return to form, revealing their obsession with lurid sex ads found on questionable websites including Craigslist and Backpage. They also discuss their recent activities, including a special Halloween themed photo-shoot with actress/model/web-cam performer extraordinaire Melissa Dawson (on Twitter as @Melissa DawsonDD) who graciously agreed to star in the latest Murdered by ROBOTS music video titled “Zombie Girl“.
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Episode 46: Killer Typhoons and Porcupine Vaginas
(first published 11/12/13)
    A new California law requiring condom use in all adult videos produced within “The Golden State” is ridiculed by porn advocates Rob and Chris, as well as the proposed new measure that would further require sex performers to wear safety goggles during their scenes. Later in the show, mention of the recent Super Typhoon Haiyan that devastated the Philippines steers the conversation towards “Sharknado” and other SiFi Channel made-for-cable turdfests. Featuring “Porcupine Vagina“, a new Murdered by ROBOTS track recently broadcast on 96.5 WSLR’s “Lumpytunes!”, and a brand new remix of the “Two Guys Watching Porn” theme song.
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and finally…
Episode 47: Lies, More Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
(first published 11/18/13)
In this, the final episode of 2013, Chris and Rob express their growing pessimism for the future, as the dumbing down of America and a widespread distrust in our leaders casts a long shadow of doubt over the fate of the human race. This was the last episode to be recorded before Rob’s inexplicable disappearance.
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   For my first post of 2014, (my first post, ominously enough, since September 11th), I’d like to implore my readers to direct their attention to the picture above…
   This is Rob. Some of you might recognize him from his work as a model (as seen on Model Mayhem). Other’s might know him from his role as a member of the underground rock band Murdered by ROBOTS, for which he has provided his unique brand of lunatic ranting on such profanity laced tracks as “Ex-Wife” and “None the Wise Reprise (Rebel Without Applause Remix)“, and for having inspired and co-written the song “Dumpster Baby” (recently aired on 96.5 WSLR’s “Lumpytunes!”). But most of you, undoubtedly, will remember him first and foremost as one half of the brain damaged duo that host Screaming Mime Theater’s premiere and longest running podcast, Two Guys Watching Porn. Since it’s inception nearly two years ago, TGWP has proudly lowered the bar for all homegrown media, due in no small measure to Rob’s unwavering lack of on air professionalism, fascinatingly off-center logic and fearless discard of social grace. In a medium often populated by massive egos, obsessive work ethics and intellectual snobbery, Rob is the refreshing exception, a 21st Century caveman, direct in his speech, unapologetically vulgar in his delivery, and totally unpretentious in even his most misguided convictions. He is also hilarious, sometimes even intentionally, and the greatest collaborator this fellow cohost has known.
   I last spoke with Rob the week before Thanksgiving. Since then, he has mysteriously vanished. Dropped off the face of the Earth! Vanished as abruptly as one of Liam Neeson’s immediate family members in a Taken movie. My first fear was robot abduction, but no evidence supporting that admittedly far fletched theory has yet to surface. However, all attempts at reaching him have come up empty, which leads me only to speculate that he’s either been the subject of foul play, imprisoned, or that he’s simply holed up somewhere with a copy of “Where’s Waldo?”, too absorbed in the task at hand to notice the passage of time. I certainly hope for the latter.  After all, every Butthead needs a Beavis!
   It’s on this somber note that I’ll end this post, with hopes that the world has not yet heard the last from Two Guys Watching Porn.

WE WANT THE AIRWAVES!

Posted: September 4, 2013 in music
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   Proving that their music is too powerful to be confined  to the Internet, Murdered by ROBOTS has  plundered the low power FM airwaves once again with their acoustic instrumental “Trance“, featured on a special robot-themed edition of  96.5 WSLR‘s flagship of mondo beyondo madness,  Lumpytunes! The track, a scaled down version of our song “Down to the Slaughter” (minus drumbeat, bass and vocals), was featured on a playlist that included Dan Deacon (of “Drinking out of Cups” fame), Devo, The Clash and Frank Zappa!Thank you Head Lump Rob Demperio for your continued support!

Lumpytunes! can be heard every Tuesday night at 11:00pm on Sarasota, Florida’s 96.5 WSLR and online at www.wslr.org

Check out all of Murdered by ROBOTS music on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater

And listen to our track “Trance” here:

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   For years, the name Peckerhead has been spoken only in hushed tones by that handful of people who had actually laid eyes upon the creature and lived to tell the tale, a tale of a monstrous abomination, one half man, one half chicken, whose presence in the undeveloped backwoods of South Florida has long been the subject of campfire tales and fearful speculation. Most of these eyewitnesses have met with fierce opposition from their communities, been labeled kooks and, in some instances, downright liars. Many, faced with the almost certainty of public ridicule, have chosen to keep their silence. But we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are dedicated to uncovering the truth about this legendary boogeyman and, tonight, offer brand new and incontrovertible evidence – hard video proof – that Peckerhead is REAL!

The following is the second of only two known recordings ever made of the beast, captured on video earlier this month by local researchers as they were ambushed. Had it not been for the swift and heroic intervention of Internet star and fetish model Mandy Taylor, who appeared as if from out of nowhere to unleash her trademark brand of testicular demolition upon that feathery spawn of Satan, several scientist would have died. Instead, we are left with this chilling documentation:

Our heartfelt thanks goes out to the brave men and women who put their safety on the line in the name of science, and to the super sexy Mandy Taylor, who demonstrated total calm in the face of danger, and for her crotch-kicking ferocity.

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   In other Murdered by ROBOTS news, Two Guys Watching Porn delivers yet another new episode of mentally challenged verbal masturbation titled “Miley Cyrus and Rainbow Parties” in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss MTV’s recent Video Music Awards, wrestle with basic geometry, try to reclaim intellectual property and lament missing out on teenage sex parties… all building up to an exciting (or not) cliffhanger of an ending!
Follow Mandy Taylor on Twitter at @PrincessMandyT
Follow Murdered by ROBOTS on Soundcloud and download all of our music for free at https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater
Listen to or download all of our past shows on ITunes! and on Spreaker at http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And check out the latest episode here:

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   Well, the geek gods of Lumpiness have smiled upon us again, as the Murdered by ROBOTS rendition of The Mexican Hat Dance was featured as the last song of the evening (early morning) on yesterday’s (08/27/13) mind-bending edition of Lumpytunes! on 96.5 WSLR. Though only eleven seconds long, it was (for us, at least) a glorious exclamation point at the end of another 120+ minutes of high weirdness, and we were thrilled to be the caboose on that crazy runaway train, a truly loco locomotive whose cargo for the night included the Barnes and Barnes classic “Fish Heads“, vintage cuts of Monty Python, and a prolonged set and interview with Miami based duo Pocket of Lollipops, whose trippy brand of indie-pop dissonance will be performed live at Sarasota’s New College this Friday, 08/30/13.  For information on exact location and times visit: http://www.pocketoflollipops.com/Home.html

   Sarasota locals can catch Lumpytunes! every Tuesday night at 11:00pm on 96.5 WSLR, and all others at www.wslr.org . Please support show host and Head Lump Rob Demperio, and all of the other fine people at WSLR, for fighting the good fight against commercial radio banality and for their unwavering support of local and under-the-radar talent!
Listen to MBR’s Mexican Hat Dance here:


Starring Vigilante Vixxxen and Melissa Dawson, directed by Jizz Fassbinder

MILF – the acronym that launched a thousand porn sites. In the lexicon of linguistics, certain words and phrases have been used so often that their meaning has become diluted. Every time a famous athlete is described as a “hero”, or a barely funny text is met with the obligatory “ROFLMAO”, the very building blocks of language begin to disintegrate. With each hyperbole, our words are robbed of a little more meaning, rendered less sincere, leaving us lost in a world of platitudes. But, every now and then, certain turns of phrase truly hit their mark!

Meet Melissa Dawson (@MelissaDawsonDD to her loyal legions of Twitter fans). This modern day pin-up queen is to MILFdom what The Rolling Stones (circa ’69) were to Rock n’ Roll – THE REAL DEAL. In fact, were you to look up the word “Milf” in the dictionary, you shouldn’t be surprised to find this picture of the awesome Ms. Dawson in thigh high fishnet stockings and six inch high heels staring back at you.

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In my adventures as a photographer for the Screaming Mime Theater, I’ve had the privilege of lensing this extraordinary model on three separate occasions, and she never disappoints. She exudes hotness as effortlessly as the Sun, mischievously running with the most off the wall suggestions and turning them into digital gold. She and her husband Tim are the embodiment of joie de vivre and that spirit of adventure is openly on display in every photograph she graces.

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Together this dynamic duo travels the country, from photo-shoot to photo-shoot, enjoying exotic cruises and appearing at Fetish Cons, living a life of excitement most of us can only dream of. Most recently, the two appeared on the nationally syndicated The Billy Madison Show in which Melissa was playfully spanked on air, fueling the fantasies of listeners everywhere! And, most importantly for us here at Murdered by ROBOTS, she was even cool enough to appear in our music video “The Works“…

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We look forward to working with her again in the near future, and encourage everyone out their to join us as we live vicariously through all of her escapades by following her on Twitter at: @MelissaDawsonDD

Starring Vigilante Vixxxen

Hot off the heels of our most recent Lumpytunes! appearance, Murdered by ROBOTS has released the music video, “Down to the Slaughter“, starring exotic model extraordinaire Vigilante Vixxxen and resident masked madman and Screaming Mime Theater mascot Oliver. And, in an attempt to sate any cryptobiologist’s hunger for high weirdness, making his first appearance on film is Peckerhead, that mysterious monstrosity long suspected of stalking South Florida’s uncharted wilderness and rumored to be half man and half chicken! Filmed on location and at Bradenton’s famed Junkyard Rehearsal Studio, and directed by underground filmmaker Jizz Fassbinder, this shocking video is proof positive that the Truth definitely  IS “out there”!

photo 4 (1)Special thanks go out to Vigilante Vixxxen, for lending her considerable talents and beauty to our latest video venture, and to Seasons of the Wolf guitarist/producer Barry “Skully” Waddell for his immeasurable help.

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Check out Seasons of the Wolf at: http://www.seasonsofthewolf.com/
Like the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/JunkyardRehearsalStudio

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Murdered by ROBOTS is honored to have been featured once again on 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! this past Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, our fourth(!) appearance on sweaty Sarasota’s coolest and most eclectic radio show! We are humbled to have been featured amongst awesome talents including Finer Points of Sadism, Paleface, Mayan Apocalypse, Giblet Dupree, Ken Nordine, and Boy Plus Girl. Our highest gratitude goes out to Head Lump Rob Demperio for deeming us worthy of inclusion in his weekly smorgasbord of psychedelia, and for playing “Zombie Girl” and “Free Man Morgan” from our eponymous debut album (available for free download on Soundcloud at http://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/sets/tijuana-bible-college/s-fRyAf). All lovers of the weird and the wretched should tune in each Tuesday night at 11:00pm (EST) for a mind blowing portion of avant-garde gruel. Those schmoes in the 941 can catch the show on the FM dial at 96.5, and the rest of the world can get their fix of lumpiness online at www.wslr.org .

Listen to “Zombie Girl”:

Listen to “Free Man Morgan”:

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Meet Mandy Taylor, fetish model extraordinaire and friend of the Screaming Mime Theater. Stunningly beautiful as a blonde or with jet black tresses, Mandy impresses with every pose she strikes, her ample bosom and callipygian frame burning itself into the retinas of all who behold her. Murdered by ROBOTS are such big fans that we’ve recorded an original song in her honor, and included it on our self-titled debut album (available for free digital download on Soundcloud at https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/sets/tijuana-bible-college).

“No kick in the balls is ever too sore

from Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture

a dirty bare foot is only as good

as she who stood tall while fainter hearts falter”

Listen to and download “Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture”  here: https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/bones-wav

And check out her Model Mayhem portfolio: http://www.modelmayhem.com/MandyTaylor

And watch her in our music video short: http://youtu.be/PdODNKph0GM

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