Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

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  Bad news has never been in short supply but, since the turn of this century,  we seem to be experiencing a near record surplus of doom and despair. All over the world, protestors have taken to the streets, while governments crack down on civil liberties, and alliances are put to the test. We live in a world divided by ideology, by religion and economics, and every day brings us closer to the boiling point. Now, in these past two weeks, news has leaked of something so shocking, so heinous, and so contrary to the common good that we can no longer sit back and bite our tongues….

 I’m talking, of course, about Ben Affleck’s casting as the new Batman!
   In the latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, hosts Rob and Chris cry foul over this shocking development, while dodging alligators and struggling to understand why Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound but can, apparently, no longer carry his own movie!
   Oh, and on a lighter note, they also attempt to discuss something called Syria
Catch all past episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn on ITunes and on Spreaker at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And listen to the latest episode titled Batman Blunders and We’re ALL DOOMED! here:
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   For years, the name Peckerhead has been spoken only in hushed tones by that handful of people who had actually laid eyes upon the creature and lived to tell the tale, a tale of a monstrous abomination, one half man, one half chicken, whose presence in the undeveloped backwoods of South Florida has long been the subject of campfire tales and fearful speculation. Most of these eyewitnesses have met with fierce opposition from their communities, been labeled kooks and, in some instances, downright liars. Many, faced with the almost certainty of public ridicule, have chosen to keep their silence. But we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are dedicated to uncovering the truth about this legendary boogeyman and, tonight, offer brand new and incontrovertible evidence – hard video proof – that Peckerhead is REAL!

The following is the second of only two known recordings ever made of the beast, captured on video earlier this month by local researchers as they were ambushed. Had it not been for the swift and heroic intervention of Internet star and fetish model Mandy Taylor, who appeared as if from out of nowhere to unleash her trademark brand of testicular demolition upon that feathery spawn of Satan, several scientist would have died. Instead, we are left with this chilling documentation:

Our heartfelt thanks goes out to the brave men and women who put their safety on the line in the name of science, and to the super sexy Mandy Taylor, who demonstrated total calm in the face of danger, and for her crotch-kicking ferocity.

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   In other Murdered by ROBOTS news, Two Guys Watching Porn delivers yet another new episode of mentally challenged verbal masturbation titled “Miley Cyrus and Rainbow Parties” in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss MTV’s recent Video Music Awards, wrestle with basic geometry, try to reclaim intellectual property and lament missing out on teenage sex parties… all building up to an exciting (or not) cliffhanger of an ending!
Follow Mandy Taylor on Twitter at @PrincessMandyT
Follow Murdered by ROBOTS on Soundcloud and download all of our music for free at https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater
Listen to or download all of our past shows on ITunes! and on Spreaker at http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And check out the latest episode here:


Starring Vigilante Vixxxen and Melissa Dawson, directed by Jizz Fassbinder

MILF – the acronym that launched a thousand porn sites. In the lexicon of linguistics, certain words and phrases have been used so often that their meaning has become diluted. Every time a famous athlete is described as a “hero”, or a barely funny text is met with the obligatory “ROFLMAO”, the very building blocks of language begin to disintegrate. With each hyperbole, our words are robbed of a little more meaning, rendered less sincere, leaving us lost in a world of platitudes. But, every now and then, certain turns of phrase truly hit their mark!

Meet Melissa Dawson (@MelissaDawsonDD to her loyal legions of Twitter fans). This modern day pin-up queen is to MILFdom what The Rolling Stones (circa ’69) were to Rock n’ Roll – THE REAL DEAL. In fact, were you to look up the word “Milf” in the dictionary, you shouldn’t be surprised to find this picture of the awesome Ms. Dawson in thigh high fishnet stockings and six inch high heels staring back at you.

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In my adventures as a photographer for the Screaming Mime Theater, I’ve had the privilege of lensing this extraordinary model on three separate occasions, and she never disappoints. She exudes hotness as effortlessly as the Sun, mischievously running with the most off the wall suggestions and turning them into digital gold. She and her husband Tim are the embodiment of joie de vivre and that spirit of adventure is openly on display in every photograph she graces.

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Together this dynamic duo travels the country, from photo-shoot to photo-shoot, enjoying exotic cruises and appearing at Fetish Cons, living a life of excitement most of us can only dream of. Most recently, the two appeared on the nationally syndicated The Billy Madison Show in which Melissa was playfully spanked on air, fueling the fantasies of listeners everywhere! And, most importantly for us here at Murdered by ROBOTS, she was even cool enough to appear in our music video “The Works“…

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We look forward to working with her again in the near future, and encourage everyone out their to join us as we live vicariously through all of her escapades by following her on Twitter at: @MelissaDawsonDD

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scha·den·freu·de: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Shameful joy.

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Perhaps it’s insecurity… Or deep seeded malice… Or, perhaps, I just curiously lack what some people define as a human “soul”. Whatever the reason, I love a train wreck! Not actual wrecks involving locomotives (though, I suppose, those are pretty cool too) but train wrecks in the sense of disgraced celebrities, those fallen stars unceremoniously knocked from their high and mighty perch who crash and burn in a blaze of drug and booze filled glory for the collective joy of bottom-feeders like me who live vicariously through their disgrace. Mel Gibson was awesome, but never so much so as the day he drunkenly called his arresting officer “sugar-tits” and railed against the Jews, or demanded his ex blow him while screaming into a cell phone (and while being recorded for the world to enjoy one psychotic tirade at a time!). And who can forget a frail and dazed Michael Jackson, being carried into a courtroom to answer allegations of child molestation, suddenly breaking into impromptu dance on the top of his limousine while dressed like some type of gay Cap’n Crunch? Celebrities, our modern-day gods of Mount Olympus, stumbling from their pedestal high atop the clouds only to be found masturbating in movie theaters or dipping their chocolate in the wrong person’s jar of peanut butter… These are the moments many of us live for! And nothing feeds my Schadenfreude disease more than the celebrity women who wind up in the gutter, whether it’s a 200 lb Anna Nicole crashing a 13 year old’s bar mitzvah and dirty dancing with the birthday boy, or a postpartum Britney Spears waving un-opened umbrellas at the paparazzi and revealing to the world that she’s just as bald “down there” as she is on her freshly shaved noggin…

These days, the reigning queen of celebrity downward spirals has to be Lindsay Lohan, and it’s she (once famously dubbed “Fire-Crotch” by former friend and fellow train wreck Paris Hilton) who lends her name to this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn. In this episode, first broadcast on 03/04/13, my co-host Rob and I examine our fascination with the out of control Ms. Lohan, while discussing the endless list of other celebrity women we would happily make sweet love to if the Universe was suddenly turned inside out and upside down and such things actually became possible. Along the way we play a half ass version of “Truth or Dare”, and debut a special new rendition of the Two Guys Watching Porn theme song (available for free download on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/two-guys-watching-porn-1). Discussed in this episode is the film “Inferno”, a Linda Lovelace bio-pic that was originally slated to star Lindsay Lohan (and which the above photos were intended to advertise) that is currently, tentatively, in production (with Ms. Lohan replaced by Malin Akerman). Info on this production can be veiwed here: http://youtu.be/dioa1BguGN0.

To listen to the episode titled “Lindsay Lohan’s Fire-Crotch”, click here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/lindsay_lohan_s_fire_crotch

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I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all of our listeners on Spreaker for taking the time to check out our show. We just recently reached 1,500 plays (not much in the grand scheme of things, but a tremendous thrill for me personally!). Like two morons eating worms while waiting for the short bus, we welcome any attention we can get!

-Chris

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As aficionados of B-Movies and exploitation classics, we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are always daydreaming about throwing our own hats into the low-budget movie making ring. Our lifelong dream is to create our own cinematic atrocities, and this ambition is often reflected in our other creative outlets, especially our photography. While we’re always happy to lens a nubile young beauty in a bikini, deep down we yearn to set aside the clichés of our art form in favor of paying homage to the midnight movies we love above all else.

The above shots feature Vigilante Vixxxen , a modern-day Amazon whose statuesque form and heavenly curves were surely molded by the gods themselves, in an effort to create the perfect woman! The definition of beauty and poise, Ms. Vixxxen is also a woman after our own hearts, happily wielding machetes and simulating decapitating band mate Rob for the sake of our mad vision! She even brought her own guns! Now, I don’t know what type of rifle this is (see below), but I guarantee that it’s more than any girl could ever ask for to teach would-be bad guys a serious lesson:

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Not only is she an amazing model, but a wonderful sport, agreeing to star in the Murdered by ROBOTS video “Down to the Slaughter”.

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Season Two of Two Guys Watching Porn continues with “Cornbread Hos and Kool Aid P*SSY”. This episode finds hosts Rob and Chris on the road, giddily vocalizing their most crude and uncensored thoughts. Listen as vapidity and prurience erupts from their mouths like copious vomit. Shriek as these halfwits discuss topics ranging from Krispy Kreme Donuts, to auto-fellatio, to anonymous sex with Vietnam Vets! Rejoice in the knowledge that the show lasts less than thirty minutes. Definitely not work-safe or prude-friendly listening! (Mom, if you’re reading this, for the love of God DO NOT LISTEN!!!). All others, feel free to join in on the fun at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/cornbread_hos_and_kool_aid_p_ssy

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Meet Mandy Taylor, fetish model extraordinaire and friend of the Screaming Mime Theater. Stunningly beautiful as a blonde or with jet black tresses, Mandy impresses with every pose she strikes, her ample bosom and callipygian frame burning itself into the retinas of all who behold her. Murdered by ROBOTS are such big fans that we’ve recorded an original song in her honor, and included it on our self-titled debut album (available for free digital download on Soundcloud at https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/sets/tijuana-bible-college).

“No kick in the balls is ever too sore

from Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture

a dirty bare foot is only as good

as she who stood tall while fainter hearts falter”

Listen to and download “Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture”  here: https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/bones-wav

And check out her Model Mayhem portfolio: http://www.modelmayhem.com/MandyTaylor

And watch her in our music video short: http://youtu.be/PdODNKph0GM

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Two Guys Watching Porn make their long awaited return with a brand new season of ill-concieved podcasts. Kicking off Season Two is “Cannibal Ventriloquists and Robot Rapers” in which hosts Rob and Chris reveal their meager knowledge of current events while trashing organized religion, discussing the recent rash of mass-shooting rampages and pondering the educational value of old-school video games like Frogger and Donkey Kong. Also featured is a shout out to our favorite Spreaker web-radio host, that truly decadent diva of dirty-talk named Amanda Nicole of The Amanda Nicole Show, the hottest half hour of audio horniness on the Web!

Listen to “Cannibal Ventriloquists and Robot Rapers”  here: http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/5289522/cannibal_ventriloquists

Catch The Amanda Nicole Show at www.TheAmandaNicoleShow.com, or listen to her latest episode on Spreaker.com at http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow/episode_3_cheating

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As a child of the 70’s and 1980’s, I developed a lifelong love affair with the low-budget movie, that oft reviled red-haired stepchild of legitimate filmmaking that is the providence of brain-eating zombies, women in prison, lusty Third Reich uber-vixxxens and Hollywood chainsaw hookers… Those craptacular midnight movies and exploitation classics that provided the raw material for drive-ins, grindhouses and late night cable television outlets, as well as creating masturbatory fodder for guinnea pigs, myself included, who hit puberty amidst this non-stop assault of celluloid decadence and delicious indecency! I was one of many Generation Xers, a casualty of the post-nuclear family, a radioactive offspring of well-meaning but distracted baby boomers who attended to their respective midlife crisis while we bathed in the loving glare of our TV’s cathode rays.  And while June Cleaver was busy burning her bra, and Ward went off to start family number two, it was shows like Chiller Theater and Commander USA’s Groovie  Movies that babysat me and my fellow forgotten, and filled our impressionable minds with non-stop images of nipply death and ill-conceived pandemonium.

The above picture is a sample of that b-movie aesthetic that I often strive for in my photography. I aspire to recreate the look and feel of sleazy pulp-fiction novel covers and exploitation movie posters, the kind of eye-raising imagery that titillates the imagination with promises lurid thrills and simple, goofy fun! It is also inspired by the Murdered by ROBOTS song “Dumpster Baby” which is featured on our self-titled debut album. To listen to the track or to download it for free, visit: https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/dumpsterbaby-m4a-2