Starring Vigilante Vixxxen

Hot off the heels of our most recent Lumpytunes! appearance, Murdered by ROBOTS has released the music video, “Down to the Slaughter“, starring exotic model extraordinaire Vigilante Vixxxen and resident masked madman and Screaming Mime Theater mascot Oliver. And, in an attempt to sate any cryptobiologist’s hunger for high weirdness, making his first appearance on film is Peckerhead, that mysterious monstrosity long suspected of stalking South Florida’s uncharted wilderness and rumored to be half man and half chicken! Filmed on location and at Bradenton’s famed Junkyard Rehearsal Studio, and directed by underground filmmaker Jizz Fassbinder, this shocking video is proof positive that the Truth definitely  IS “out there”!

photo 4 (1)Special thanks go out to Vigilante Vixxxen, for lending her considerable talents and beauty to our latest video venture, and to Seasons of the Wolf guitarist/producer Barry “Skully” Waddell for his immeasurable help.

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Check out Seasons of the Wolf at: http://www.seasonsofthewolf.com/
Like the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/JunkyardRehearsalStudio

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Just as Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, Two Guys Watching Porn hosts Rob and Chris seek to distract themselves from the frightening reality of Big Brother in this week’s half-baked episode, “Thought Crime and Medical Marijuana”. As news of the NSA’s seemingly unlimited surveillance of every aspect of our daily lives redefines our once clear concept of privacy, these two half wits amuse themselves with talk of one night stands and legalizing the sticky-icky. Each day delivers new and more troubling revelations of unprecedented government spying…  Including claims that all of our emails, texts, and phone records are being systematically monitored and logged in the name of national security, with total disregard for our once constitutionally protected right against unlawful search and seizure, all while Dumb and Dumberer dream of Tijuana sex shows. America, as we once imagined it, may very well be DOOMED!!!

Click here to listen:

And listen to all of our audio shenanigans on ITunes and Spreaker.com:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522

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Murdered by ROBOTS is honored to have been featured once again on 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! this past Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, our fourth(!) appearance on sweaty Sarasota’s coolest and most eclectic radio show! We are humbled to have been featured amongst awesome talents including Finer Points of Sadism, Paleface, Mayan Apocalypse, Giblet Dupree, Ken Nordine, and Boy Plus Girl. Our highest gratitude goes out to Head Lump Rob Demperio for deeming us worthy of inclusion in his weekly smorgasbord of psychedelia, and for playing “Zombie Girl” and “Free Man Morgan” from our eponymous debut album (available for free download on Soundcloud at http://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/sets/tijuana-bible-college/s-fRyAf). All lovers of the weird and the wretched should tune in each Tuesday night at 11:00pm (EST) for a mind blowing portion of avant-garde gruel. Those schmoes in the 941 can catch the show on the FM dial at 96.5, and the rest of the world can get their fix of lumpiness online at www.wslr.org .

Listen to “Zombie Girl”:

Listen to “Free Man Morgan”:

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Rising from our ashes like a smut spewing Phoenix, “Two Guys Watching Porn” returns to the cyber-airwaves with our first monkey-spanking new episode since expanding our podcasting empire to ITunes! Refreshed from a 49 day vacation, hapless hosts Chris and Rob kick off Season Three with “Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say”. Listen as we insert foot firmly in mouth and share behind-the-scenes anecdotes from our latest photo-shoot with the insanely hot Mandy Taylor, @PrincessMandyT on Twitter and the inspiration behind Murdered by ROBOT’s song “Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture”. A splendid time is guaranteed for all and, of course, Henry the Horse dances the Waltz….

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listen to all our podcasts on ITunes and on Spreaker.com at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522

and listen to our latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn titled Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say here:

Image  —  Posted: August 14, 2013 in comedy, models, photography, podcasts
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scha·den·freu·de: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Shameful joy.

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Perhaps it’s insecurity… Or deep seeded malice… Or, perhaps, I just curiously lack what some people define as a human “soul”. Whatever the reason, I love a train wreck! Not actual wrecks involving locomotives (though, I suppose, those are pretty cool too) but train wrecks in the sense of disgraced celebrities, those fallen stars unceremoniously knocked from their high and mighty perch who crash and burn in a blaze of drug and booze filled glory for the collective joy of bottom-feeders like me who live vicariously through their disgrace. Mel Gibson was awesome, but never so much so as the day he drunkenly called his arresting officer “sugar-tits” and railed against the Jews, or demanded his ex blow him while screaming into a cell phone (and while being recorded for the world to enjoy one psychotic tirade at a time!). And who can forget a frail and dazed Michael Jackson, being carried into a courtroom to answer allegations of child molestation, suddenly breaking into impromptu dance on the top of his limousine while dressed like some type of gay Cap’n Crunch? Celebrities, our modern-day gods of Mount Olympus, stumbling from their pedestal high atop the clouds only to be found masturbating in movie theaters or dipping their chocolate in the wrong person’s jar of peanut butter… These are the moments many of us live for! And nothing feeds my Schadenfreude disease more than the celebrity women who wind up in the gutter, whether it’s a 200 lb Anna Nicole crashing a 13 year old’s bar mitzvah and dirty dancing with the birthday boy, or a postpartum Britney Spears waving un-opened umbrellas at the paparazzi and revealing to the world that she’s just as bald “down there” as she is on her freshly shaved noggin…

These days, the reigning queen of celebrity downward spirals has to be Lindsay Lohan, and it’s she (once famously dubbed “Fire-Crotch” by former friend and fellow train wreck Paris Hilton) who lends her name to this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn. In this episode, first broadcast on 03/04/13, my co-host Rob and I examine our fascination with the out of control Ms. Lohan, while discussing the endless list of other celebrity women we would happily make sweet love to if the Universe was suddenly turned inside out and upside down and such things actually became possible. Along the way we play a half ass version of “Truth or Dare”, and debut a special new rendition of the Two Guys Watching Porn theme song (available for free download on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/two-guys-watching-porn-1). Discussed in this episode is the film “Inferno”, a Linda Lovelace bio-pic that was originally slated to star Lindsay Lohan (and which the above photos were intended to advertise) that is currently, tentatively, in production (with Ms. Lohan replaced by Malin Akerman). Info on this production can be veiwed here: http://youtu.be/dioa1BguGN0.

To listen to the episode titled “Lindsay Lohan’s Fire-Crotch”, click here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/lindsay_lohan_s_fire_crotch

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I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all of our listeners on Spreaker for taking the time to check out our show. We just recently reached 1,500 plays (not much in the grand scheme of things, but a tremendous thrill for me personally!). Like two morons eating worms while waiting for the short bus, we welcome any attention we can get!

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In this 02/26/13 addition of Two Guys Watching Porn, show hosts Rob and Chris lampoon adult-star and popular Howard Stern show guest Lupe Fuentes, aka “Little Lupe” (and re-christened here, in a hailstorm of salsa, jizz and shame no doubt, as “Lulu Angel”) as she attempts to cross over from jail-bait themed porno into the even sadder world of vapid dance music as the lead singer of “The Ex Girlfriends”. Featuring excerpts from their first single, the remarkably mediocre “We Are the Party”, it’s not surprising that both Chris and Rob find the words coming out of her mouth almost as hard to swallow as the monstrous things that are normally cumming into it. In addition to bad music, they imagine mass murder at the Oscars, and ponder the ramifications of time travel with unintentionally racist results.

Listen to “Celebrity Death-Traps / Black Time Travel” here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/celebrity_death_traps_black_time_travel

and, if the taste of your own vomit appeals to you, check out The Ex Girlfriends on You Tube here:

http://youtu.be/vUXuh4RymhQ

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Proving once and for all that hard news is better left in the hands of responsible news outlets, Two Guys Watching Porn brings you “Cream Pies, Tossed Salads, and MURDER!” (originally published on 02/20/13) in which hosts Rob and Chris put on their best Nancy Grace faces and discuss the ongoing trial of Jodi Arias, a 32-year-old California native charged in the 2008 murder of her ex-boyfriend, Travis Alexander. Listen as the boys analyze actual phone sex recordings between the defendant and the victim and question the validity of the suspect’s claims that she acted in self-defense (the victim was reportedly shot in the face, stabbed 29 times, and had his throat slashed from ear to ear).

To listen to the show, click here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/cream_pies_tossed_salads_and_murder_1

and to listen to the full phone sex recordings, click here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/02/12/jodi-arias-travis-alexander-sex-tape_n_2673013.html

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As aficionados of B-Movies and exploitation classics, we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are always daydreaming about throwing our own hats into the low-budget movie making ring. Our lifelong dream is to create our own cinematic atrocities, and this ambition is often reflected in our other creative outlets, especially our photography. While we’re always happy to lens a nubile young beauty in a bikini, deep down we yearn to set aside the clichés of our art form in favor of paying homage to the midnight movies we love above all else.

The above shots feature Vigilante Vixxxen , a modern-day Amazon whose statuesque form and heavenly curves were surely molded by the gods themselves, in an effort to create the perfect woman! The definition of beauty and poise, Ms. Vixxxen is also a woman after our own hearts, happily wielding machetes and simulating decapitating band mate Rob for the sake of our mad vision! She even brought her own guns! Now, I don’t know what type of rifle this is (see below), but I guarantee that it’s more than any girl could ever ask for to teach would-be bad guys a serious lesson:

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Not only is she an amazing model, but a wonderful sport, agreeing to star in the Murdered by ROBOTS video “Down to the Slaughter”.

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Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Two Guys Watching Porn returns with a brand new episode of half-witted deviance titled “Casey Anthony, Aquamom and Rubber Dolls”, in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss topics ranging from Real Dolls, Infanticide, Pope Benedict XVI and trouble brewing on the Korean peninsula. Of particular interest to our single-minded narators are rumors of a potential sex tape in the making featuring the notorious Casey Anthony, whom both Chris and Rob reluctantly admit wanting to see naked. Featuring a shout out to our favorite podcaster, the lovely and lustful Amanda Nicole (http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow), as well as our patented brand of rampant vulgarity, we invite you to Vulcan mind meld with these two degenerates and hope you enjoy their warped if somewhat limited take on the news of the day…

You can hear the latest episode here by clicking: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/casey_anthony_aquamom_and_rubber_dolls_1

Also returning this week is our Murdered by ROBOTS podcast featuring material from deep within our audio archives. On our latest episode, titled “Cheese Pants and Porcupine Vaginas”, we travel back nearly 17 years for some intimate home demos recorded in Virginia Beach, VA.

To enter our musical way-back machine, click here:     http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/cheese_pants_and_porcupine_vaginas

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When we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are not creating low-fi underground rock or documenting the physical world through our photography and podcasts, we’re eager to explore the unknown, to fathom the great mysteries awaiting us beyond this mortal coil and to question all things that go bump in the night!
Under the tutelage of group founder and lead investigator Jim Tarazewich, an experienced ghost hunter who had his first paranormal experience at the age of 13, fellow band mate Rob and I were fortunate enough to participate in our first investigation this past September at a local bar and restaurant purported to play host to at least one (and possibly three) otherworldly forces. Using high-tech gadgetry including video-surveillance, motion and electromagnetic field detectors, digital voice recorders, and a ghost box (a modified portable radio that continuously scans the AM/FM bands in search of white noise and audio remnants that, in theory, may be manipulated by spiritual forces to communicate messages with the living) we set out to observe and, if possible, make contact with these potential entities. A skeptic by nature,  I participated in this initial assignment with no great expectations. However, after a three and a half hour investigation, I can attest that we did observe and document a number of curious occurrences that I cannot immediately explain nor comfortably ignore. I’ve always prided myself on having an open mind, but the events of that day definitely left me a little more open to new suggestions…
For more details on this investigation, and to learn more about Venice Isle Paranormal Society itself, including mission statement, investigator bios, and contact information, please visit the VIP homepage at:
Or call 941 929-6443
We are always on the lookout for credible leads and accepting new members!