Posts Tagged ‘childbirth’

photoIt’s been a busy year for us here at Murdered by ROBOTS and, unfortunately, our website has suffered because of it, resigned to a cold cruel fate usually reserved for red-headed step children, neglected and unloved and buried neck deep in a pool of filth. While we were off enjoying misadventures, this page was all but forgotten, collecting digital dust. Many of you, our loyal followers, have held your breath awaiting news of our latest shenanigans and many of you, alas, have died waiting. And while we mourn the loss of those most hardcore fans, we can only chalk things up to Darwin’s principle of natural selection and move forward. Since our last update, Murdered by ROBOTS and our fellow denizens of the Screaming Mime Theater have been hard at work spreading our gospel of God awful and creating (dis)content to entertain the ever drooling masses.

Our music has continued to feature regularly on our favorite terrestrial radio program, 96.5 WSLR’s infamous Lumpytunes!, hosted by the Head Lump, Rob Demperio. We’ve recorded a slew of new songs including our first commercial single, “Respect Existence”, now available for sale on iTunes and Amazon, and appeared on Hal McGee’s Big Florida Noise Compilation this past June. We will also be featured on the soon to be released sound project from Polish based Splitterkor Rekords Dziwko (SKRD) titled “What is Noise For You?”, along with fellow underground acts including Ninja McTits and SATANOID! In further international news, MbR was recently interviewed for Canadian Radio by indie outlaw and Soundcloud legend Kyle Nickum, host of Hipster’s Paradise on Phantom 103.3 out of Bathurst, New Brunswick, the home of eclectic music for the Great White North! And when we weren’t spreading like cancer across international borders, we were busy shooting new music videos with the likes of the always alluring Mandy Taylor, and conquering the local Alternative charts on ReverbNation where, for eight glorious days this past month, we held the number one spot in Sarasota on a list containing bUG eYED mONSTERS, and friend and former collaborator Nacho Steppinstone.

On our podcasting front, Two Guys Watching Porn has continued to redefine the meaning of TMI as hosts Rob and Chris lower the parameters of decent social intercourse to near Marinas Trench depths with their dull witted,  ill informed and often highly inflammatory discussions involving everything from Kate Upton’s boobs and robot sex toys, to vomiting parasites and End Time prophesy! The boys even caught the eye (and ear) of the fine folks at TeamSkeet.com, who were kind enough to send us a box of free swag containing stickers, t-shirts and DVDs. Since our last update a full 17(!!) episodes have sullied the Internet’s virtual airwaves, bringing our grand total of listens for our combined podcasts to 8,755 (including 4,578 downloads). A full episode guide of the last 17 shows is coming soon!

When last we posted, our homegrown horror host web series, Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show, had just premiered on YouTube, as well as other video hosting outlets like Daily Motion, Vimeo, and (on a goof) Porn Hub. Since that debut, two more episodes featuring Oliver, his faithful sidekick Horse Head Ed, show mascot Shadow Stevens, and announcer Albert Fish have been released. Many of Screaming Mime Theater’s favorite video vixens have also appeared, including Dayana Valentino, Melissa Dawson, and Kara 0300. The show has featured shout-outs to one of our favorite horror hosts, Dark Hours Theatre’s very own Uncle Edward, who has kindly returned the favor on two of his programs, Uncle Edward’s Trailer-Rama and the latest episode of The It Came From the Basement Show. We thank Edward for all of his encouragement and unwavering support! As of this writing, OTBBMMSFFS has received a whopping 3,452 views (though it begs mentioning that 2,308 of those views were from confused and very frustrated porn surfers).

Finally, our reach has oozed into the world of social media, with Facebook pages for all of our major projects available for fans looking to interact with us and keep up to date with our activities. Please click each of the following links and, if you are entertained by what you see, don’t hesitate to hit the “like” button to receive all of our latest news!

Murdered by ROBOTS official band page: https://m.facebook.com/givejesusbacktothemartians

Two Guys Watching Porn:
https://www.facebook.com/twoguyswatchingporn

Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show:
https://www.facebook.com/oliverandhorseheaded

Advertisements

otbbmmsffs01

It’s been a big week for us at Murdered by ROBOTS. Since it’s premiere just over a week ago, our web series Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show has raked up a respectable 515 views from postings on multiple sites, with the lion’s share of hits coming, hysterically, from our posting on the free adult tube service Porn Hub (so the actual length of each individual view is, admittedly, likely to be fairly low – one can only anticipate the colorful comments that may one day be left by frustrated porn surfers desperate to complete a mission who find our program to be, put politely, less than “mission”-worthy!).  And our show has been given the official thumbs up by one of our very favorite horror-hosts, It Came from the Basement’s  mysterious Uncle Edward, the Fez wearing professor phantasm behind Dark Hours Theatre’s  epic sci-fi serial Adventures of Galactic Command  and Uncle Edward’s Trailer-Rama, both available on YouTube.

uncle edwardUncle Edward

   In other news, Murdered by ROBOTS posted a brand new music video this week for our song “Dumpster Baby“, subtitled “The Birth of Oliver“, starring Horse Head Ed and the titular Oliver in semi-autobiographical roles as adopted-father and son. Also heavily featured are Screaming Mime Theater favorites Rima Jean and Tiffani Cruz, as well as the ever elusive Peckerhead  (in a scene stealing performance!). Head Lump Rob Demperio called it “Difficult. I love it.”
rimaandtiff

Rima Jean and Tiffani Cruz

   Rounding out this week’s broadcasting is Two Guys Watching Porn’s 50th (!) episode, titled The Girl with the K-Shaped Cornhole. Picking up where their last episode ended, hosts Rob and Chris continue to shamelessly plug their new internet TV show and discuss the scandalous fate of McGruff the Crime Dog. Listen to this week’s episode here:
Catch Uncle Edward’s latest videos on YouTube at:
Listen to 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! online at www.wslr.org
And check out Rima Jean and Tiffani Cruz on Model Mayhem at:

rob1

There are some questions for which answers may never truly be known, eternal mysteries that have haunted man since his first ancestors gazed upon the heavens and wondered  “are we alone in the Universe?”,  “is there life after death?” , “what, if anything, existed before the Big Bang?” and “how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”.  Well, as of last Saturday, at least one such puzzle has  been solved, the burning question on all of our  minds: “What the fuck happened to Rob?”…

It is with great excitement and considerable relief that I announce that Rob, like the Jedi and Jesus before him, has returned. Not, however, a brief two days later like the aforementioned Lord and Savior but, instead,  following a two and a half month mysterious limbo. But what do you expect? One of them is the son of God and the other’s, well, Rob. And whereas Jesus returned with the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven, Rob comes back with nothing more than horror stories of hoarding and of elderly relatives half eaten by cats!

All this and more is the subject of the long awaited brand new episode of Two Guys Watching Porn titled “Popeye and the Resurrection“.  A special shout out is given to a trio of confirmed listeners and life advice is lovingly dispensed by hosts Rob and Chris, who waste little time returning to their old shenanigans. Listen to this episode here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/popeye-and-the-resurrection

dumpster baby

   In other news, Murdered by ROBOTS was once again honored to have their track “Dumpster Baby” featured on the latest (02/04/14) broadcast of 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! , on a playlist that featured such icons of the counterculture as William S. Burroughs and Cheech and Chong! Our eternal thanks goes out to the Head Lump Rob Demperio for including us in another one of his weekly mosh ups of madness, and for mentioning us on air, albeit unintentionally, during his 01/21/14 broadcast when he momentarily confused our group with the similarly named musical comedy troupe and experimental noise act, Captured! By Robots, whose track he’d just played. Oh, and while we’re shamelessly honking our own horn, Murdered by ROBOTS was also included in the special (12/03/13) John and Yoko themed edition of Lumpytunes! which featured an extended set of our songs made up of “If I Only Had Some Shame“, “Porcupine Vagina/Nevermind Love” and our signature tune “Snotrocket“. Intentionally or otherwise, we’re always thrilled to hear our name spoken over the airwaves!
For those of you in the Sarasota/Bradenton, Florida area, check out Lumpytunes! every Tuesday night/Wednesday morning from 11:00pm-01:00am on 96.5 WSLR or listen online at www.WSLR.org . And like it on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lumpytunes .
Check out Captured! By Robots at www.capturedbyrobots.com .
and view Tiffani aka MISSTIFF (featured in the above photo) on her Model Mayhem page,
MM URL: http://www.modelmayhem.com/MissTiffaniRaeCruz

aaa

   In the months since my last steady post, a full ten episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn have come and gone, leaving in their wake a foulness not unlike an unwelcome breakage of wind. Since I’ve shamefully neglected to keep this site updated, I hope to rectify that mistake now by chronicling all of the adventures some of you may have missed, picking up right where I left off back in September. So please, accept this episode guide as an olive branch, and feel free to plunder our archives for all of TGWP’s podcasting prurience…
aaaa
Episode 38: Nut Ripped Off by a Monkey
(first published 09/16/13)
   Rob recuperates from his man-period and regales cohost Chris with tales of testicle stealing primates and crazy Chinese zoos. Dog Lions! Puppy Tigers!! Panda Poodles!?! Oh My!!! As you may imagine, things rapidly spiral downward from there, culminating in the battle cry “F U, FXX!”
aaaaa
Episode 39: Sin, Smut, and Godless Fornication!
(first published 09/23/13)
   If Steven Spielberg’s 1977 classic Close Encounters of the Third Kind taught us anything, it’s that A: Richard Dreyfus is a terrible father looking for almost any excuse to abandon his family, and that B: WE ARE NOT ALONE! In this thrilling Sci-Fi themed episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, alien visitors have intercepted a strange signal emanating from a tiny blue planet orbiting an average yellow star, and are shocked by the content of this curious transmission. Listen as Chris and Rob unwittingly become Earth’s first ambassadors to this advanced extraterrestrial race!
aa111
Episode 4o: Name That Poon
(first published 09/30/2013)
   In celebration of our 40th episode and our network’s 4000th listen, Screaming Mime Theater and it’s musical division, Murdered by ROBOTS, serve up a star studded all musical extravaganza titled Name That Poon (aka Two Guys Watching Porn, the Musical), featuring hosts Rob and Chris, show producer Barry Schwartzenhymen, Foreign Correspondent and Dog-Reporter Shadow Stevens,  frequent guest contributor Kristina Raisinbran, and fellow Spreaker talent and show supporter Amanda Nicole! So fill your shorts with pudding, huff a little Glade Air-freshener, relax and enjoy this nostalgic musical retrospective of some of Two Guys Watching Porn’s more whimsical moments, as we say thank you all for joining us on this adventure!
aa11111
Episode 41: Taboos on the Loose
(first published 10/07/13)
     This episode finds Chris and Rob scratching their heads, trying to make sense of Obamacare and the current Government shutdown.  Unable to grasp these subjects, they divert their scattered focus towards more entertaining topics, including television, face eating drugs, legalized pot and incest. Featuring the song “Praise, Praise, Praise” by Kamikaze Krishna.
aaaaaaa1
Episode 42: A Womb with a View
(first published 10/14/13)
   Drug horror stories are the hot topic of the day, in this very special (if inappropriately named) episode of Two Guys Watching Porn which explores the ravages of that mysterious new drug from Russia named Krokodil, a nasty little concoction known to eat the flesh of it’s users. Also up for lampooning is the late Michael Jackson, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and child abuse! A splendid time is guaranteed for all!
111
Episode 43: Diddle Me Dudley
(first published 10/22/13)
    The show hits the highway as Rob and Chris drive aimlessly looking for inspiration, waxing nostalgically about shitty 1980’s sitcoms and their shared love of taquitos, as well as tackling such gripping social taboos as pederasty, public indecency, bestiality, and the shady sport of competitive gang-bangs. In the end, Rob concludes that we are, indeed, “a sick, sick species”!
1111
Episode 44: Evil White Men and their Problems
(first published 10/31/13)
   Twisted Love Cults and illegal immigration draw ire from the show’s hosts in this controversial episode of  Two Guys Watching Porn, while the plight of our nation’s indigenous peoples sparks some contentious debate amongst Rob and Chris. While Rob expresses nothing but respect for reservations and the importance of preserving Native American culture, Chris seems to suggest that, perhaps, it’s time for them to throw in the towel and accept defeat. Rubber tomahawks fly and things get decidedly ugly. Closing the show is a song by Screaming Mime Theater’s own Murdered by ROBOTS  titled “Godzilla“, in honor of Halloween.
aa1111
Episode 45: Backpage Hookers
(first published 11/07/13)
   After last episode’s unpleasantness, Rob and Chris return to form, revealing their obsession with lurid sex ads found on questionable websites including Craigslist and Backpage. They also discuss their recent activities, including a special Halloween themed photo-shoot with actress/model/web-cam performer extraordinaire Melissa Dawson (on Twitter as @Melissa DawsonDD) who graciously agreed to star in the latest Murdered by ROBOTS music video titled “Zombie Girl“.
aa11
Episode 46: Killer Typhoons and Porcupine Vaginas
(first published 11/12/13)
    A new California law requiring condom use in all adult videos produced within “The Golden State” is ridiculed by porn advocates Rob and Chris, as well as the proposed new measure that would further require sex performers to wear safety goggles during their scenes. Later in the show, mention of the recent Super Typhoon Haiyan that devastated the Philippines steers the conversation towards “Sharknado” and other SiFi Channel made-for-cable turdfests. Featuring “Porcupine Vagina“, a new Murdered by ROBOTS track recently broadcast on 96.5 WSLR’s “Lumpytunes!”, and a brand new remix of the “Two Guys Watching Porn” theme song.
11
and finally…
Episode 47: Lies, More Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
(first published 11/18/13)
In this, the final episode of 2013, Chris and Rob express their growing pessimism for the future, as the dumbing down of America and a widespread distrust in our leaders casts a long shadow of doubt over the fate of the human race. This was the last episode to be recorded before Rob’s inexplicable disappearance.

IMG_0795IMG_0798

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Two Guys Watching Porn returns with a brand new episode of half-witted deviance titled “Casey Anthony, Aquamom and Rubber Dolls”, in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss topics ranging from Real Dolls, Infanticide, Pope Benedict XVI and trouble brewing on the Korean peninsula. Of particular interest to our single-minded narators are rumors of a potential sex tape in the making featuring the notorious Casey Anthony, whom both Chris and Rob reluctantly admit wanting to see naked. Featuring a shout out to our favorite podcaster, the lovely and lustful Amanda Nicole (http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow), as well as our patented brand of rampant vulgarity, we invite you to Vulcan mind meld with these two degenerates and hope you enjoy their warped if somewhat limited take on the news of the day…

You can hear the latest episode here by clicking: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/casey_anthony_aquamom_and_rubber_dolls_1

Also returning this week is our Murdered by ROBOTS podcast featuring material from deep within our audio archives. On our latest episode, titled “Cheese Pants and Porcupine Vaginas”, we travel back nearly 17 years for some intimate home demos recorded in Virginia Beach, VA.

To enter our musical way-back machine, click here:     http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/cheese_pants_and_porcupine_vaginas

Oliver Twisted, Masked Maniac on the Rise

This is Oliver (looking studly in this recent photo taken at the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio) an aspiring slasher-movie star trying desperately to get his foot in that serial killer door. A long time friend and mascot of sorts of the Screaming Mime Theater, Oliver patiently awaits the day he can eviscerate nubile young teens on the silver screen, all while honing his acting chops in zero-budget videos. We here at Murdered by ROBOTS would like to tip our hats off to this potential (if improbable) future king of B-movie carnage.

Joining Oliver in this pic are models Ashton Rae (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2322774), Shante J (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2889341), Miss Tiffani Rae Cruz (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2878445), and RimaJean (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2835903).

For information on the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio, visit them on Facebook.

Two Guys Watching Porn make their long awaited return with a brand new season of ill-concieved podcasts. Kicking off Season Two is “Cannibal Ventriloquists and Robot Rapers” in which hosts Rob and Chris reveal their meager knowledge of current events while trashing organized religion, discussing the recent rash of mass-shooting rampages and pondering the educational value of old-school video games like Frogger and Donkey Kong. Also featured is a shout out to our favorite Spreaker web-radio host, that truly decadent diva of dirty-talk named Amanda Nicole of The Amanda Nicole Show, the hottest half hour of audio horniness on the Web!

Listen to “Cannibal Ventriloquists and Robot Rapers”  here: http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/5289522/cannibal_ventriloquists

Catch The Amanda Nicole Show at www.TheAmandaNicoleShow.com, or listen to her latest episode on Spreaker.com at http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow/episode_3_cheating

avatars-000013240654-dfiexa-t200x200avatars-000032056707-75hl9i-t200x200

20130129-025625.jpg

As a child of the 70’s and 1980’s, I developed a lifelong love affair with the low-budget movie, that oft reviled red-haired stepchild of legitimate filmmaking that is the providence of brain-eating zombies, women in prison, lusty Third Reich uber-vixxxens and Hollywood chainsaw hookers… Those craptacular midnight movies and exploitation classics that provided the raw material for drive-ins, grindhouses and late night cable television outlets, as well as creating masturbatory fodder for guinnea pigs, myself included, who hit puberty amidst this non-stop assault of celluloid decadence and delicious indecency! I was one of many Generation Xers, a casualty of the post-nuclear family, a radioactive offspring of well-meaning but distracted baby boomers who attended to their respective midlife crisis while we bathed in the loving glare of our TV’s cathode rays.  And while June Cleaver was busy burning her bra, and Ward went off to start family number two, it was shows like Chiller Theater and Commander USA’s Groovie  Movies that babysat me and my fellow forgotten, and filled our impressionable minds with non-stop images of nipply death and ill-conceived pandemonium.

The above picture is a sample of that b-movie aesthetic that I often strive for in my photography. I aspire to recreate the look and feel of sleazy pulp-fiction novel covers and exploitation movie posters, the kind of eye-raising imagery that titillates the imagination with promises lurid thrills and simple, goofy fun! It is also inspired by the Murdered by ROBOTS song “Dumpster Baby” which is featured on our self-titled debut album. To listen to the track or to download it for free, visit: https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/dumpsterbaby-m4a-2