Posts Tagged ‘exploitation’

 

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The show hits a snag when host Rob goes on the rag in this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn titled “Kim Jong-Un and Other Grumpy Munchkins“. Rob‘s a cranky wanker during this rare nighttime edition, while he and Chris discuss North Korean dictator (and frequent show fodder) Kim Jong-Un, who recently had his ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad! Luckily, show producer Barry Schwartzenhymen is on deck to inject a little levity into the proceedings, with an emotionally stirring rendition of the 1982 Paul McCartney/Stevie Wonder duet “Ebony and Ivory“. When all is said and done, there won’t be a dry eye (or diaper) in the house.

Listen to Two Guys Watching Porn on iTunes,  and on Spreaker at http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And listen to “Kim Jong-Un and Other Grumpy Munchkins” here:
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  Bad news has never been in short supply but, since the turn of this century,  we seem to be experiencing a near record surplus of doom and despair. All over the world, protestors have taken to the streets, while governments crack down on civil liberties, and alliances are put to the test. We live in a world divided by ideology, by religion and economics, and every day brings us closer to the boiling point. Now, in these past two weeks, news has leaked of something so shocking, so heinous, and so contrary to the common good that we can no longer sit back and bite our tongues….

 I’m talking, of course, about Ben Affleck’s casting as the new Batman!
   In the latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, hosts Rob and Chris cry foul over this shocking development, while dodging alligators and struggling to understand why Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound but can, apparently, no longer carry his own movie!
   Oh, and on a lighter note, they also attempt to discuss something called Syria
Catch all past episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn on ITunes and on Spreaker at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And listen to the latest episode titled Batman Blunders and We’re ALL DOOMED! here:

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   For years, the name Peckerhead has been spoken only in hushed tones by that handful of people who had actually laid eyes upon the creature and lived to tell the tale, a tale of a monstrous abomination, one half man, one half chicken, whose presence in the undeveloped backwoods of South Florida has long been the subject of campfire tales and fearful speculation. Most of these eyewitnesses have met with fierce opposition from their communities, been labeled kooks and, in some instances, downright liars. Many, faced with the almost certainty of public ridicule, have chosen to keep their silence. But we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are dedicated to uncovering the truth about this legendary boogeyman and, tonight, offer brand new and incontrovertible evidence – hard video proof – that Peckerhead is REAL!

The following is the second of only two known recordings ever made of the beast, captured on video earlier this month by local researchers as they were ambushed. Had it not been for the swift and heroic intervention of Internet star and fetish model Mandy Taylor, who appeared as if from out of nowhere to unleash her trademark brand of testicular demolition upon that feathery spawn of Satan, several scientist would have died. Instead, we are left with this chilling documentation:

Our heartfelt thanks goes out to the brave men and women who put their safety on the line in the name of science, and to the super sexy Mandy Taylor, who demonstrated total calm in the face of danger, and for her crotch-kicking ferocity.

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   In other Murdered by ROBOTS news, Two Guys Watching Porn delivers yet another new episode of mentally challenged verbal masturbation titled “Miley Cyrus and Rainbow Parties” in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss MTV’s recent Video Music Awards, wrestle with basic geometry, try to reclaim intellectual property and lament missing out on teenage sex parties… all building up to an exciting (or not) cliffhanger of an ending!
Follow Mandy Taylor on Twitter at @PrincessMandyT
Follow Murdered by ROBOTS on Soundcloud and download all of our music for free at https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater
Listen to or download all of our past shows on ITunes! and on Spreaker at http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And check out the latest episode here:

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   Well, the geek gods of Lumpiness have smiled upon us again, as the Murdered by ROBOTS rendition of The Mexican Hat Dance was featured as the last song of the evening (early morning) on yesterday’s (08/27/13) mind-bending edition of Lumpytunes! on 96.5 WSLR. Though only eleven seconds long, it was (for us, at least) a glorious exclamation point at the end of another 120+ minutes of high weirdness, and we were thrilled to be the caboose on that crazy runaway train, a truly loco locomotive whose cargo for the night included the Barnes and Barnes classic “Fish Heads“, vintage cuts of Monty Python, and a prolonged set and interview with Miami based duo Pocket of Lollipops, whose trippy brand of indie-pop dissonance will be performed live at Sarasota’s New College this Friday, 08/30/13.  For information on exact location and times visit: http://www.pocketoflollipops.com/Home.html

   Sarasota locals can catch Lumpytunes! every Tuesday night at 11:00pm on 96.5 WSLR, and all others at www.wslr.org . Please support show host and Head Lump Rob Demperio, and all of the other fine people at WSLR, for fighting the good fight against commercial radio banality and for their unwavering support of local and under-the-radar talent!
Listen to MBR’s Mexican Hat Dance here:


Starring Vigilante Vixxxen and Melissa Dawson, directed by Jizz Fassbinder

Starring Vigilante Vixxxen

Hot off the heels of our most recent Lumpytunes! appearance, Murdered by ROBOTS has released the music video, “Down to the Slaughter“, starring exotic model extraordinaire Vigilante Vixxxen and resident masked madman and Screaming Mime Theater mascot Oliver. And, in an attempt to sate any cryptobiologist’s hunger for high weirdness, making his first appearance on film is Peckerhead, that mysterious monstrosity long suspected of stalking South Florida’s uncharted wilderness and rumored to be half man and half chicken! Filmed on location and at Bradenton’s famed Junkyard Rehearsal Studio, and directed by underground filmmaker Jizz Fassbinder, this shocking video is proof positive that the Truth definitely  IS “out there”!

photo 4 (1)Special thanks go out to Vigilante Vixxxen, for lending her considerable talents and beauty to our latest video venture, and to Seasons of the Wolf guitarist/producer Barry “Skully” Waddell for his immeasurable help.

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Check out Seasons of the Wolf at: http://www.seasonsofthewolf.com/
Like the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/JunkyardRehearsalStudio

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Just as Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, Two Guys Watching Porn hosts Rob and Chris seek to distract themselves from the frightening reality of Big Brother in this week’s half-baked episode, “Thought Crime and Medical Marijuana”. As news of the NSA’s seemingly unlimited surveillance of every aspect of our daily lives redefines our once clear concept of privacy, these two half wits amuse themselves with talk of one night stands and legalizing the sticky-icky. Each day delivers new and more troubling revelations of unprecedented government spying…  Including claims that all of our emails, texts, and phone records are being systematically monitored and logged in the name of national security, with total disregard for our once constitutionally protected right against unlawful search and seizure, all while Dumb and Dumberer dream of Tijuana sex shows. America, as we once imagined it, may very well be DOOMED!!!

Click here to listen:

And listen to all of our audio shenanigans on ITunes and Spreaker.com:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522

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Rising from our ashes like a smut spewing Phoenix, “Two Guys Watching Porn” returns to the cyber-airwaves with our first monkey-spanking new episode since expanding our podcasting empire to ITunes! Refreshed from a 49 day vacation, hapless hosts Chris and Rob kick off Season Three with “Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say”. Listen as we insert foot firmly in mouth and share behind-the-scenes anecdotes from our latest photo-shoot with the insanely hot Mandy Taylor, @PrincessMandyT on Twitter and the inspiration behind Murdered by ROBOT’s song “Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture”. A splendid time is guaranteed for all and, of course, Henry the Horse dances the Waltz….

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listen to all our podcasts on ITunes and on Spreaker.com at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522

and listen to our latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn titled Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say here:

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scha·den·freu·de: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Shameful joy.

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Perhaps it’s insecurity… Or deep seeded malice… Or, perhaps, I just curiously lack what some people define as a human “soul”. Whatever the reason, I love a train wreck! Not actual wrecks involving locomotives (though, I suppose, those are pretty cool too) but train wrecks in the sense of disgraced celebrities, those fallen stars unceremoniously knocked from their high and mighty perch who crash and burn in a blaze of drug and booze filled glory for the collective joy of bottom-feeders like me who live vicariously through their disgrace. Mel Gibson was awesome, but never so much so as the day he drunkenly called his arresting officer “sugar-tits” and railed against the Jews, or demanded his ex blow him while screaming into a cell phone (and while being recorded for the world to enjoy one psychotic tirade at a time!). And who can forget a frail and dazed Michael Jackson, being carried into a courtroom to answer allegations of child molestation, suddenly breaking into impromptu dance on the top of his limousine while dressed like some type of gay Cap’n Crunch? Celebrities, our modern-day gods of Mount Olympus, stumbling from their pedestal high atop the clouds only to be found masturbating in movie theaters or dipping their chocolate in the wrong person’s jar of peanut butter… These are the moments many of us live for! And nothing feeds my Schadenfreude disease more than the celebrity women who wind up in the gutter, whether it’s a 200 lb Anna Nicole crashing a 13 year old’s bar mitzvah and dirty dancing with the birthday boy, or a postpartum Britney Spears waving un-opened umbrellas at the paparazzi and revealing to the world that she’s just as bald “down there” as she is on her freshly shaved noggin…

These days, the reigning queen of celebrity downward spirals has to be Lindsay Lohan, and it’s she (once famously dubbed “Fire-Crotch” by former friend and fellow train wreck Paris Hilton) who lends her name to this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn. In this episode, first broadcast on 03/04/13, my co-host Rob and I examine our fascination with the out of control Ms. Lohan, while discussing the endless list of other celebrity women we would happily make sweet love to if the Universe was suddenly turned inside out and upside down and such things actually became possible. Along the way we play a half ass version of “Truth or Dare”, and debut a special new rendition of the Two Guys Watching Porn theme song (available for free download on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/two-guys-watching-porn-1). Discussed in this episode is the film “Inferno”, a Linda Lovelace bio-pic that was originally slated to star Lindsay Lohan (and which the above photos were intended to advertise) that is currently, tentatively, in production (with Ms. Lohan replaced by Malin Akerman). Info on this production can be veiwed here: http://youtu.be/dioa1BguGN0.

To listen to the episode titled “Lindsay Lohan’s Fire-Crotch”, click here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/lindsay_lohan_s_fire_crotch

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I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all of our listeners on Spreaker for taking the time to check out our show. We just recently reached 1,500 plays (not much in the grand scheme of things, but a tremendous thrill for me personally!). Like two morons eating worms while waiting for the short bus, we welcome any attention we can get!

-Chris

In this 02/26/13 addition of Two Guys Watching Porn, show hosts Rob and Chris lampoon adult-star and popular Howard Stern show guest Lupe Fuentes, aka “Little Lupe” (and re-christened here, in a hailstorm of salsa, jizz and shame no doubt, as “Lulu Angel”) as she attempts to cross over from jail-bait themed porno into the even sadder world of vapid dance music as the lead singer of “The Ex Girlfriends”. Featuring excerpts from their first single, the remarkably mediocre “We Are the Party”, it’s not surprising that both Chris and Rob find the words coming out of her mouth almost as hard to swallow as the monstrous things that are normally cumming into it. In addition to bad music, they imagine mass murder at the Oscars, and ponder the ramifications of time travel with unintentionally racist results.

Listen to “Celebrity Death-Traps / Black Time Travel” here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/celebrity_death_traps_black_time_travel

and, if the taste of your own vomit appeals to you, check out The Ex Girlfriends on You Tube here:

http://youtu.be/vUXuh4RymhQ