Posts Tagged ‘movies’

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scha·den·freu·de: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Shameful joy.

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Perhaps it’s insecurity… Or deep seeded malice… Or, perhaps, I just curiously lack what some people define as a human “soul”. Whatever the reason, I love a train wreck! Not actual wrecks involving locomotives (though, I suppose, those are pretty cool too) but train wrecks in the sense of disgraced celebrities, those fallen stars unceremoniously knocked from their high and mighty perch who crash and burn in a blaze of drug and booze filled glory for the collective joy of bottom-feeders like me who live vicariously through their disgrace. Mel Gibson was awesome, but never so much so as the day he drunkenly called his arresting officer “sugar-tits” and railed against the Jews, or demanded his ex blow him while screaming into a cell phone (and while being recorded for the world to enjoy one psychotic tirade at a time!). And who can forget a frail and dazed Michael Jackson, being carried into a courtroom to answer allegations of child molestation, suddenly breaking into impromptu dance on the top of his limousine while dressed like some type of gay Cap’n Crunch? Celebrities, our modern-day gods of Mount Olympus, stumbling from their pedestal high atop the clouds only to be found masturbating in movie theaters or dipping their chocolate in the wrong person’s jar of peanut butter… These are the moments many of us live for! And nothing feeds my Schadenfreude disease more than the celebrity women who wind up in the gutter, whether it’s a 200 lb Anna Nicole crashing a 13 year old’s bar mitzvah and dirty dancing with the birthday boy, or a postpartum Britney Spears waving un-opened umbrellas at the paparazzi and revealing to the world that she’s just as bald “down there” as she is on her freshly shaved noggin…

These days, the reigning queen of celebrity downward spirals has to be Lindsay Lohan, and it’s she (once famously dubbed “Fire-Crotch” by former friend and fellow train wreck Paris Hilton) who lends her name to this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn. In this episode, first broadcast on 03/04/13, my co-host Rob and I examine our fascination with the out of control Ms. Lohan, while discussing the endless list of other celebrity women we would happily make sweet love to if the Universe was suddenly turned inside out and upside down and such things actually became possible. Along the way we play a half ass version of “Truth or Dare”, and debut a special new rendition of the Two Guys Watching Porn theme song (available for free download on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/two-guys-watching-porn-1). Discussed in this episode is the film “Inferno”, a Linda Lovelace bio-pic that was originally slated to star Lindsay Lohan (and which the above photos were intended to advertise) that is currently, tentatively, in production (with Ms. Lohan replaced by Malin Akerman). Info on this production can be veiwed here: http://youtu.be/dioa1BguGN0.

To listen to the episode titled “Lindsay Lohan’s Fire-Crotch”, click here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/lindsay_lohan_s_fire_crotch

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I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all of our listeners on Spreaker for taking the time to check out our show. We just recently reached 1,500 plays (not much in the grand scheme of things, but a tremendous thrill for me personally!). Like two morons eating worms while waiting for the short bus, we welcome any attention we can get!

-Chris

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As aficionados of B-Movies and exploitation classics, we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are always daydreaming about throwing our own hats into the low-budget movie making ring. Our lifelong dream is to create our own cinematic atrocities, and this ambition is often reflected in our other creative outlets, especially our photography. While we’re always happy to lens a nubile young beauty in a bikini, deep down we yearn to set aside the clichés of our art form in favor of paying homage to the midnight movies we love above all else.

The above shots feature Vigilante Vixxxen , a modern-day Amazon whose statuesque form and heavenly curves were surely molded by the gods themselves, in an effort to create the perfect woman! The definition of beauty and poise, Ms. Vixxxen is also a woman after our own hearts, happily wielding machetes and simulating decapitating band mate Rob for the sake of our mad vision! She even brought her own guns! Now, I don’t know what type of rifle this is (see below), but I guarantee that it’s more than any girl could ever ask for to teach would-be bad guys a serious lesson:

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Not only is she an amazing model, but a wonderful sport, agreeing to star in the Murdered by ROBOTS video “Down to the Slaughter”.

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Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Two Guys Watching Porn returns with a brand new episode of half-witted deviance titled “Casey Anthony, Aquamom and Rubber Dolls”, in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss topics ranging from Real Dolls, Infanticide, Pope Benedict XVI and trouble brewing on the Korean peninsula. Of particular interest to our single-minded narators are rumors of a potential sex tape in the making featuring the notorious Casey Anthony, whom both Chris and Rob reluctantly admit wanting to see naked. Featuring a shout out to our favorite podcaster, the lovely and lustful Amanda Nicole (http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow), as well as our patented brand of rampant vulgarity, we invite you to Vulcan mind meld with these two degenerates and hope you enjoy their warped if somewhat limited take on the news of the day…

You can hear the latest episode here by clicking: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/casey_anthony_aquamom_and_rubber_dolls_1

Also returning this week is our Murdered by ROBOTS podcast featuring material from deep within our audio archives. On our latest episode, titled “Cheese Pants and Porcupine Vaginas”, we travel back nearly 17 years for some intimate home demos recorded in Virginia Beach, VA.

To enter our musical way-back machine, click here:     http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/cheese_pants_and_porcupine_vaginas

Oliver Twisted, Masked Maniac on the Rise

This is Oliver (looking studly in this recent photo taken at the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio) an aspiring slasher-movie star trying desperately to get his foot in that serial killer door. A long time friend and mascot of sorts of the Screaming Mime Theater, Oliver patiently awaits the day he can eviscerate nubile young teens on the silver screen, all while honing his acting chops in zero-budget videos. We here at Murdered by ROBOTS would like to tip our hats off to this potential (if improbable) future king of B-movie carnage.

Joining Oliver in this pic are models Ashton Rae (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2322774), Shante J (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2889341), Miss Tiffani Rae Cruz (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2878445), and RimaJean (http://www.modelmayhem.com/2835903).

For information on the Junkyard Rehearsal Studio, visit them on Facebook.

Two Guys Watching Porn make their long awaited return with a brand new season of ill-concieved podcasts. Kicking off Season Two is “Cannibal Ventriloquists and Robot Rapers” in which hosts Rob and Chris reveal their meager knowledge of current events while trashing organized religion, discussing the recent rash of mass-shooting rampages and pondering the educational value of old-school video games like Frogger and Donkey Kong. Also featured is a shout out to our favorite Spreaker web-radio host, that truly decadent diva of dirty-talk named Amanda Nicole of The Amanda Nicole Show, the hottest half hour of audio horniness on the Web!

Listen to “Cannibal Ventriloquists and Robot Rapers”  here: http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/5289522/cannibal_ventriloquists

Catch The Amanda Nicole Show at www.TheAmandaNicoleShow.com, or listen to her latest episode on Spreaker.com at http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow/episode_3_cheating

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As a child of the 70’s and 1980’s, I developed a lifelong love affair with the low-budget movie, that oft reviled red-haired stepchild of legitimate filmmaking that is the providence of brain-eating zombies, women in prison, lusty Third Reich uber-vixxxens and Hollywood chainsaw hookers… Those craptacular midnight movies and exploitation classics that provided the raw material for drive-ins, grindhouses and late night cable television outlets, as well as creating masturbatory fodder for guinnea pigs, myself included, who hit puberty amidst this non-stop assault of celluloid decadence and delicious indecency! I was one of many Generation Xers, a casualty of the post-nuclear family, a radioactive offspring of well-meaning but distracted baby boomers who attended to their respective midlife crisis while we bathed in the loving glare of our TV’s cathode rays.  And while June Cleaver was busy burning her bra, and Ward went off to start family number two, it was shows like Chiller Theater and Commander USA’s Groovie  Movies that babysat me and my fellow forgotten, and filled our impressionable minds with non-stop images of nipply death and ill-conceived pandemonium.

The above picture is a sample of that b-movie aesthetic that I often strive for in my photography. I aspire to recreate the look and feel of sleazy pulp-fiction novel covers and exploitation movie posters, the kind of eye-raising imagery that titillates the imagination with promises lurid thrills and simple, goofy fun! It is also inspired by the Murdered by ROBOTS song “Dumpster Baby” which is featured on our self-titled debut album. To listen to the track or to download it for free, visit: https://soundcloud.com/#screaming-mime-theater/dumpsterbaby-m4a-2