Posts Tagged ‘weird’

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  Bad news has never been in short supply but, since the turn of this century,  we seem to be experiencing a near record surplus of doom and despair. All over the world, protestors have taken to the streets, while governments crack down on civil liberties, and alliances are put to the test. We live in a world divided by ideology, by religion and economics, and every day brings us closer to the boiling point. Now, in these past two weeks, news has leaked of something so shocking, so heinous, and so contrary to the common good that we can no longer sit back and bite our tongues….

 I’m talking, of course, about Ben Affleck’s casting as the new Batman!
   In the latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn, hosts Rob and Chris cry foul over this shocking development, while dodging alligators and struggling to understand why Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound but can, apparently, no longer carry his own movie!
   Oh, and on a lighter note, they also attempt to discuss something called Syria
Catch all past episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn on ITunes and on Spreaker at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And listen to the latest episode titled Batman Blunders and We’re ALL DOOMED! here:
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   For years, the name Peckerhead has been spoken only in hushed tones by that handful of people who had actually laid eyes upon the creature and lived to tell the tale, a tale of a monstrous abomination, one half man, one half chicken, whose presence in the undeveloped backwoods of South Florida has long been the subject of campfire tales and fearful speculation. Most of these eyewitnesses have met with fierce opposition from their communities, been labeled kooks and, in some instances, downright liars. Many, faced with the almost certainty of public ridicule, have chosen to keep their silence. But we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are dedicated to uncovering the truth about this legendary boogeyman and, tonight, offer brand new and incontrovertible evidence – hard video proof – that Peckerhead is REAL!

The following is the second of only two known recordings ever made of the beast, captured on video earlier this month by local researchers as they were ambushed. Had it not been for the swift and heroic intervention of Internet star and fetish model Mandy Taylor, who appeared as if from out of nowhere to unleash her trademark brand of testicular demolition upon that feathery spawn of Satan, several scientist would have died. Instead, we are left with this chilling documentation:

Our heartfelt thanks goes out to the brave men and women who put their safety on the line in the name of science, and to the super sexy Mandy Taylor, who demonstrated total calm in the face of danger, and for her crotch-kicking ferocity.

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   In other Murdered by ROBOTS news, Two Guys Watching Porn delivers yet another new episode of mentally challenged verbal masturbation titled “Miley Cyrus and Rainbow Parties” in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss MTV’s recent Video Music Awards, wrestle with basic geometry, try to reclaim intellectual property and lament missing out on teenage sex parties… all building up to an exciting (or not) cliffhanger of an ending!
Follow Mandy Taylor on Twitter at @PrincessMandyT
Follow Murdered by ROBOTS on Soundcloud and download all of our music for free at https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater
Listen to or download all of our past shows on ITunes! and on Spreaker at http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522
And check out the latest episode here:

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   Well, the geek gods of Lumpiness have smiled upon us again, as the Murdered by ROBOTS rendition of The Mexican Hat Dance was featured as the last song of the evening (early morning) on yesterday’s (08/27/13) mind-bending edition of Lumpytunes! on 96.5 WSLR. Though only eleven seconds long, it was (for us, at least) a glorious exclamation point at the end of another 120+ minutes of high weirdness, and we were thrilled to be the caboose on that crazy runaway train, a truly loco locomotive whose cargo for the night included the Barnes and Barnes classic “Fish Heads“, vintage cuts of Monty Python, and a prolonged set and interview with Miami based duo Pocket of Lollipops, whose trippy brand of indie-pop dissonance will be performed live at Sarasota’s New College this Friday, 08/30/13.  For information on exact location and times visit: http://www.pocketoflollipops.com/Home.html

   Sarasota locals can catch Lumpytunes! every Tuesday night at 11:00pm on 96.5 WSLR, and all others at www.wslr.org . Please support show host and Head Lump Rob Demperio, and all of the other fine people at WSLR, for fighting the good fight against commercial radio banality and for their unwavering support of local and under-the-radar talent!
Listen to MBR’s Mexican Hat Dance here:

“The pen is mightier than the sword”

-Edward Bulwer-Lytton

(from his play, Richelieu)
   Words and, more importantly, the ideas they convey have the power to spark revolutions. A persuasive argument can sway public opinion, topple governments and change the world just as surely as a well placed bullet. And so, as with any great power, the dissemination of information should be handled with a reasonable degree of responsibility. This is, perhaps ironically, the message behind this week’s Two Guys Watching Porn titled “The Penis, Mightier than the Sword“.
   In the 1980’s, I was a great fan of the tabloid periodical The Weekly World News, that once infamous supermarket check-out line staple that sent wandering eyes rolling with headlines proclaiming Redneck Aliens Take Over Trailer Park, Prehistoric Bigfoot Lives!, and Pyramid Discovered on the Moon, and offering continuous updates on the mysterious Bat Boy, whose numerous captures and subsequent escapes proved so popular that an entire book of his exploits was eventually published. Of course no one,  not even the most meth addicted sister-humping hillbilly in West Virginia, actually BELIEVED any of those headlines, nor accepted anything printed within it’s pages as anything other than pure bullshit. It was fake news for the sake of silliness, delivered without pretense and with a knowing wink. In other words, harmless low-brow entertainment.
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   Enter 2013, and a world where so-called “Breaking News” is broadcast 24 hours a day, to an over-saturated market where ratings determine the day’s headlines and impartial reporting takes a backseat to sensationalism… CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS, and endless online outlets for information are in constant competition for the next big story, circling like sharks for every last scrap of reportable chum. In this digital age of cut-throat news for profit, it is more important to beat your competition to the punch than it is to make sure that what you report is, in fact, true. And so the yellowing of journalism continues unabated.
   Case in point – Oakland, CA news station KTVU‘s embarrassingly irresponsible coverage of the recent crash of Asiana Flight 214 at San Francisco International Airport on July 6, 2013. In an attempt to offer a news “exclusive”, KTVU exercised hilariously poor judgement when it chose to report the identities of the Asiana Airline’s pilots before properly checking their sources or subjecting the material to even the simplest scrutiny, as evidenced in their now notorious reporting of several glaringly erroneous and, potentially, offensive names: Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Bang Ding Ow and Ho Lee Fuk. Captain Janks himself couldn’t have hoped for better.
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   Now, Two Guys Watching Porn hosts Rob and Chris are no strangers to bending the truth a little, especially when it makes for a better story, nor do they deny telling the occasional bold face lie for simple shits and giggles, but they never claimed to be following in the footsteps of Edgar R. Murrow. Their podcast delivers their ill informed and somewhat baffling takes on the day’s important issues in the same idiotic spirit as those laughable tabloids of decades past, with tongues planted firmly in (butt)cheek and fingers crossed behind their backs. Blissful in their ignorance, they’re Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb-ass, paying considerably more attention to claims of Elvis sightings than to civil unrest in Egypt, or chemical weapons in Syria. Sadly, many of the so-called legitimate news outlets of today seem just as prone to distraction.
    Catch up on all our previous episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn on iTunes and at Spreaker.com at:
and listen to “The Penis, Mightier then the Sword here:


Starring Vigilante Vixxxen and Melissa Dawson, directed by Jizz Fassbinder

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Murdered by ROBOTS is honored to have been featured once again on 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! this past Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, our fourth(!) appearance on sweaty Sarasota’s coolest and most eclectic radio show! We are humbled to have been featured amongst awesome talents including Finer Points of Sadism, Paleface, Mayan Apocalypse, Giblet Dupree, Ken Nordine, and Boy Plus Girl. Our highest gratitude goes out to Head Lump Rob Demperio for deeming us worthy of inclusion in his weekly smorgasbord of psychedelia, and for playing “Zombie Girl” and “Free Man Morgan” from our eponymous debut album (available for free download on Soundcloud at http://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/sets/tijuana-bible-college/s-fRyAf). All lovers of the weird and the wretched should tune in each Tuesday night at 11:00pm (EST) for a mind blowing portion of avant-garde gruel. Those schmoes in the 941 can catch the show on the FM dial at 96.5, and the rest of the world can get their fix of lumpiness online at www.wslr.org .

Listen to “Zombie Girl”:

Listen to “Free Man Morgan”:

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Rising from our ashes like a smut spewing Phoenix, “Two Guys Watching Porn” returns to the cyber-airwaves with our first monkey-spanking new episode since expanding our podcasting empire to ITunes! Refreshed from a 49 day vacation, hapless hosts Chris and Rob kick off Season Three with “Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say”. Listen as we insert foot firmly in mouth and share behind-the-scenes anecdotes from our latest photo-shoot with the insanely hot Mandy Taylor, @PrincessMandyT on Twitter and the inspiration behind Murdered by ROBOT’s song “Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture”. A splendid time is guaranteed for all and, of course, Henry the Horse dances the Waltz….

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listen to all our podcasts on ITunes and on Spreaker.com at: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522

and listen to our latest episode of Two Guys Watching Porn titled Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say here:

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scha·den·freu·de: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Shameful joy.

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Perhaps it’s insecurity… Or deep seeded malice… Or, perhaps, I just curiously lack what some people define as a human “soul”. Whatever the reason, I love a train wreck! Not actual wrecks involving locomotives (though, I suppose, those are pretty cool too) but train wrecks in the sense of disgraced celebrities, those fallen stars unceremoniously knocked from their high and mighty perch who crash and burn in a blaze of drug and booze filled glory for the collective joy of bottom-feeders like me who live vicariously through their disgrace. Mel Gibson was awesome, but never so much so as the day he drunkenly called his arresting officer “sugar-tits” and railed against the Jews, or demanded his ex blow him while screaming into a cell phone (and while being recorded for the world to enjoy one psychotic tirade at a time!). And who can forget a frail and dazed Michael Jackson, being carried into a courtroom to answer allegations of child molestation, suddenly breaking into impromptu dance on the top of his limousine while dressed like some type of gay Cap’n Crunch? Celebrities, our modern-day gods of Mount Olympus, stumbling from their pedestal high atop the clouds only to be found masturbating in movie theaters or dipping their chocolate in the wrong person’s jar of peanut butter… These are the moments many of us live for! And nothing feeds my Schadenfreude disease more than the celebrity women who wind up in the gutter, whether it’s a 200 lb Anna Nicole crashing a 13 year old’s bar mitzvah and dirty dancing with the birthday boy, or a postpartum Britney Spears waving un-opened umbrellas at the paparazzi and revealing to the world that she’s just as bald “down there” as she is on her freshly shaved noggin…

These days, the reigning queen of celebrity downward spirals has to be Lindsay Lohan, and it’s she (once famously dubbed “Fire-Crotch” by former friend and fellow train wreck Paris Hilton) who lends her name to this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn. In this episode, first broadcast on 03/04/13, my co-host Rob and I examine our fascination with the out of control Ms. Lohan, while discussing the endless list of other celebrity women we would happily make sweet love to if the Universe was suddenly turned inside out and upside down and such things actually became possible. Along the way we play a half ass version of “Truth or Dare”, and debut a special new rendition of the Two Guys Watching Porn theme song (available for free download on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/two-guys-watching-porn-1). Discussed in this episode is the film “Inferno”, a Linda Lovelace bio-pic that was originally slated to star Lindsay Lohan (and which the above photos were intended to advertise) that is currently, tentatively, in production (with Ms. Lohan replaced by Malin Akerman). Info on this production can be veiwed here: http://youtu.be/dioa1BguGN0.

To listen to the episode titled “Lindsay Lohan’s Fire-Crotch”, click here:

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/lindsay_lohan_s_fire_crotch

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I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all of our listeners on Spreaker for taking the time to check out our show. We just recently reached 1,500 plays (not much in the grand scheme of things, but a tremendous thrill for me personally!). Like two morons eating worms while waiting for the short bus, we welcome any attention we can get!

-Chris

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As aficionados of B-Movies and exploitation classics, we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are always daydreaming about throwing our own hats into the low-budget movie making ring. Our lifelong dream is to create our own cinematic atrocities, and this ambition is often reflected in our other creative outlets, especially our photography. While we’re always happy to lens a nubile young beauty in a bikini, deep down we yearn to set aside the clichés of our art form in favor of paying homage to the midnight movies we love above all else.

The above shots feature Vigilante Vixxxen , a modern-day Amazon whose statuesque form and heavenly curves were surely molded by the gods themselves, in an effort to create the perfect woman! The definition of beauty and poise, Ms. Vixxxen is also a woman after our own hearts, happily wielding machetes and simulating decapitating band mate Rob for the sake of our mad vision! She even brought her own guns! Now, I don’t know what type of rifle this is (see below), but I guarantee that it’s more than any girl could ever ask for to teach would-be bad guys a serious lesson:

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Not only is she an amazing model, but a wonderful sport, agreeing to star in the Murdered by ROBOTS video “Down to the Slaughter”.

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Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Two Guys Watching Porn returns with a brand new episode of half-witted deviance titled “Casey Anthony, Aquamom and Rubber Dolls”, in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss topics ranging from Real Dolls, Infanticide, Pope Benedict XVI and trouble brewing on the Korean peninsula. Of particular interest to our single-minded narators are rumors of a potential sex tape in the making featuring the notorious Casey Anthony, whom both Chris and Rob reluctantly admit wanting to see naked. Featuring a shout out to our favorite podcaster, the lovely and lustful Amanda Nicole (http://www.spreaker.com/page#!/user/amandanicoleshow), as well as our patented brand of rampant vulgarity, we invite you to Vulcan mind meld with these two degenerates and hope you enjoy their warped if somewhat limited take on the news of the day…

You can hear the latest episode here by clicking: http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/casey_anthony_aquamom_and_rubber_dolls_1

Also returning this week is our Murdered by ROBOTS podcast featuring material from deep within our audio archives. On our latest episode, titled “Cheese Pants and Porcupine Vaginas”, we travel back nearly 17 years for some intimate home demos recorded in Virginia Beach, VA.

To enter our musical way-back machine, click here:     http://www.spreaker.com/user/5289522/cheese_pants_and_porcupine_vaginas